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Wearing embarrassing underwear is the best way to get laid

created by ataraxia

(idea) by ataraxia (1.5 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Mon Jul 22 2002 at 4:14:24

I believe in Murphy's Law and Finagle's Law, because they're both just good solid rules of the universe. But I don't usually go in for the various Laws of Irony, like the one that says "if you don't do your homework, it won't snow." I'm enough of a well-trained skeptic to know what's really going on -- the occasions where you don't do your homework because you're counting on a snow day that doesn't materialize are the occasions that stand out in your mind. It's not that they happen more often, they're just more salient when they do.

Nevertheless, I'm convinced that nobody asks me to take off my pants unless I'm wearing stupid underwear. I can go to someone's house ten times in cute panties that actually match my bra, and he'll want to play Warcraft or go get Thai food. But if I decide there's no way we'll end up alone, so it's okay if I wear the ones the dog chewed on a bit... well, we'll end up alone, and that's when he'll get frisky.

No wonder men are supposed to have their ratty old lucky boxers. I've started wearing unimpressive undies in the hopes of getting some play. I have to worry, though, about the intersection of this rule with the classic maternal admonition: "wear clean underwear in case you're in a car wreck." Does the Irony Law apply here, too? After all, previously I was wearing the good lingerie in case I was in another kind of collision, and it always bit me on the ass. Does that mean I'm putting my life in danger every time I get in a car by wearing the worse-for-wear undies that might get me laid?

Best solution all around: wear the bad skivvies and walk.


printable version
chaos

Finagle's Law Standing in a parking lot at nine-thirty on a Saturday night, alone, wearing your best underwear Your ass is indefensible So there I was, naked and hiding, facing the dissertation committee from the Isle of Lesbos
You can tell what state a relationship is in by the type of underwear the girl is wearing Wearing nice underpants does not necessarily mean it's a date nice underwear Tell your kids things that they shouldn't know about
getting play Murphy's Law Availability heuristic Stuff you shouldn't feed your dog
The Art Of Insulting - Chapter XII- Excerpt from the 1992 World Insulting Championship Final in Brussels (Vassilyevich vs. White) Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter Your smile was embarrassed. Your fingers were dew-covered. I am still smiling. Drinking in text as though the thirst might not present itself again
It's better to have loved and lost Drinking Robitussin due to complete boredom Do your homework. lingerie
The Three Laws of Thermodynamics anosognosia Prince of Persia Bridget Jones's Diary
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