This is not a wine for drinking. This is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

(idea) by Cow Of Doom (3.2 y) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Sun Jul 30 2000 at 7:36:38

A line from Monty Python's short but gut-bustingly funny "Australian Table Wines" sketch. It is said of a sparkling wine called Perth Pink:

"Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is "Perth Pink". This is a bottle with a message in it, and the message is BEWARE! This is not a wine for drinking -- this is a wine for laying down and avoiding."

In general, this is a pretty funny phrase pattern to use to indicate that something is truly beyond awful:

"You want to rent Biodome?! That's not a movie for renting -- that's a movie for laying down and avoiding.

Note that the last phrase ("laying down and avoiding") should be said with emphasis and, if possible, in your best Eric Idle voice.

Chihuahua Grub says: what enkidu fails to mention is whether or not Biodome will grow better and more enjoyable with age...

(thing) by enkidu (1 y) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Sun Jul 29 2001 at 0:48:47

I thought the same for many years... in fact, until just this moment. But now that I've heard this line with my current knowledge of wine and wine afficionados, it I realize that the actual meaning of that phrase is more complicated. Wine lovers often speak of laying down a bottle of wine when they are planning to keep it and allow it to mature. The phrase evidently derives from the fact that the wine would actually be laid down in a cellar, where the cool, dark environment allows the chemical processes inside the bottle to proceed at a measured pace.

To an outsider, the phrase "laying down and avoiding" conjures images of carefully setting down a grenade and cautiously backing away. But to a wine person, that line merely means that the wine needs a good, long time to age before it should be drunk (or, perhaps, that it should be left in the cellar for some unsuspecting pigeon to drink). Since Monty Python often makes fun of aristocrats, and since the culture of wine is better-known in England than in the United States, I find it likely that the intention is a disorienting merger of the two concepts.

printable version
chaos

Perth Pink	Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk	Biodome	Starting out with making electronic music (jungle, techno, house, ambient and on and on)
Bad things with which to wipe your ass	Eric Idle	Australian Table Wines	Wine that tastes like sour Kool-Aid
This sentence is in Spanish while you're not looking	Choosing a wine	Japanese style toilet	Monty Python
Pigeon	Apple Thunderscan	Japanese Tea Ceremony Talk	The Parable Of The Hotel
1998 Beringer Napa Valley Appellation Collection Chardonnay	Running With Scissors	cabernet sauvignon	Instant rice
The manner of drinking and spitting is either hard or soft	So I turned round and there was an inflatable man sat at the table	Table Wine	Kaiseki Ryori

Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.

Login
Password

remember me
password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

After stirring Everything, these nodes rose to the top:
incarnadine
The Wild Bunch
Mean Streets
Burning of the Libraries of Alexandria
Clinical depression
How to buy drugs in an open-air market
Welcome to the Involuntary Agnostics Association
An example of Atari 2600 source code
unique
Solar sail
the cool silence that inevitably follows the vanishing of aeroplanes
Wesley Willis
The erotic tales of 'old McMurty': that weird kid's favourite dead dog

SwimmingMonkey
Conversations with Fo Fo- the Loneliest dog in Purgatory	(fiction)
locke baron
lynx	(thing)
Simulacron3
Reality, Dimensions and the Natural Ontology	(essay)
SubSane
Making Love to a 9-Foot Woman	(person)
Ouzo
Thoughts	(idea)
antigravpussy
I fall silent, listening. The breadcrumbs are talking about us	(person)
calgon
Buffalo Bill by the pool	(poetry)
gate
Anarchy is Order	(idea)
ushdfgakjasgh
Scribeling	(thing)
XWiz
Trism	(review)
artman2003
Briefcase Full of Souls - Part I	(fiction)
Dreamvirus
Alan Ladd	(person)
waverider37
Harold Holt	(person)
The Debutante
Until death do us part	(fiction)
Ysardo
a brother to a sister	(personal)

This affordable entertainment brought to you by The Everything Development Company