| The discman starts at whichever track
it was turned off at and I press play, and
I start thinking the opening lines. But when did I
start? I can't figure it out. Is my mind picking up
where it left off before the cd actually starts up
up, (cool) or is it the first note, (never more than two) that brings the song into
my head? I wish I could work it out, but it's
one of those split-second moments, an infinitesimal
space of time, a fractional minute and I cannot say
when the tune entered my conciousness.
Or else it's something else, I'm always racing
around and following webbed paths and backtracking
and sidestepping and getting lost in thought and
unfamiliar territory, always rambling around
until I get back to somewhere familiar.
And I was walking down the street with some noders,
(and most of my storytelling in real life starts
in middle of a sentence) and I kept spewing weird
thoughts. I think they were weird, they were definitely
unlinked in everyone's minds but my own. I almost
felt a need to explain the thought process that
led from magnets to having no telephone to the
Lemongrass Grill, and still, (after I
finally shut up), I got back to the
magnets eventually.
And I hate to think that I talk a lot, I think
it's more that I think a lot, and in getting
lost and exploring paths and tracing patterns, I
don't realize how long I've been silent, don't
realize that the multitude of neural processes fit
into a smaller space of time than I think, and
feel a jolt. Did I trail off in middle of a
sentence? Did someone ask me a question, why is
it quiet? and I'll spurt something else out.
On the train home, put on my CD and start singing.
Am I taking up where I left off, or recognizing
the first two beats?
| 
