Things I Thought I Would Never Hear Myself Say

created by siouxsie

(idea) by siouxsie (3.7 mon) (print) ? (I like it!) 4 C!s Thu Nov 30 2000 at 17:56:23

Since becoming a mother, some of the weirdest things have escaped my lips. (And no, I don't mean my teeth...) I have actually found myself uttering the following phrases in the past two years:

10. Don't run through the kitchen with underwear on your head!
9. If you hit your sister with that plastic fish one more time (insert threat here)!
8. Turn that vacuum cleaner off and stop chasing the dog!
7. No, I do not want to know what it sounds like to flush a banana!
6. What do you mean, you swallowed the robot? WHAT robot?
5. It is not nice to put food on strangers. (aside: "Sorry, sir!")
4. It is not nice to hit! Do you want me to spank you? (WHAT was I thinking???)
3. Don't write on your brother! I don't care if he asked you to!
2. Honey, you know momma doesn't like dead things in her bathtub.
1. Stop shaking your sister! Uncle Terry was playing a joke on you, there's no money in her ears.

printable version
chaos

Walkin' Round In Women's Underwear	I can't live without you	How to tell if a girl's interested in you	Ten Things that show you are a father
The nothin' but coal for you, geek e2 westside holiday gathering and lan party	Yes! We have no bananas!	Questions I would ask my born-again sister, if we were still talking	I felt as calm as the day outside. My footsteps were certain below the neutral sky. I wished there were someone watching.
Those are pearls that were his eyes. Look!	Words of Advice for Young People	If you could reset your life back 10 years, would you?	Underwear
Ten Commandments of the Female Ned	Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives	George Carlin	ISBN
The Ten Commandments of the First Day After Hernia Surgery	No longer in my list of names	Writing HTML is not coding	Shaken Baby Syndrome
The Evil Overlord list	GTKY	God is God: God is not a man, God is not Superman, God is not print in a book	bathtub

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