They're not diapers! They're pull ups!

My first passionate political view. Back when I was in kindergarten I would walk across the street everyday after school to Betty's house. Betty was for the most part, my babysitter. She was old and skinny, and smelled like cigarettes. I loved her.

Me and the other younger kids would play in the back room, where Betty had assembled an army of toys. It was also here, that in a rugrats like fashion, me and the other toddlers tried to come up with explanations for the world. One thing that had always escaped our intellectual grasp was diapers. They were fun, but why we needed them was a mystery. Needless to say, I had to share the latest development in my research. I wasn't wearing diapers anymore! I felt so superior. I was wearing pull ups! My mom told me these were for grown up kids. I shared the news in muffled whispers with my comrades. One 5th grader overheard.

"Pull ups are diapers." the freckled kid told me.

I wasn't about to take that crap (pardon the pun), "Pull ups!"

"Diapers!"

"Pull ups!"

As you can imagine, this went on for quite some time. I went so far as to ask my mom to clarify, who assured me that pull ups were a sign of growing up and would help me potty train. I told the 5th grader with pride.

"Just proves you were to stupid too learn how to shit." He retorted.

I broke down and cried. I was heartbroken to say the least. However, I knew the 5th grader was too stupid to see the difference between diapers and pull ups. I was privileged to have pull ups. Thus, I retaliated.

The next day me and the other toddlers got together and poured wet mud in his backpack with a plastic shovel, which he mistook for shit.

"SHIT!!!!!" He cried as he saw his homework covered in mud.

Betty heard his potty mouth this time (*ahem* pardon the pun again). She came in, grabbed him by the ear, and puffed smoke in his face like a dragon, which sent me into a state of awe. Betty twisted his ear forcefully and whispered something in his ear. Then he came over, and spoke to us with a defeated look on his face.

"They're not diapers, they're pull ups."