There need to be better terms in English for "significant others"

(idea) by Wintersweet (1.1 y) (print) ? 1 C! I like it! Sun Feb 13 2000 at 4:17:28

There do. All the terms of endearment we have are demeaning, cutesy, or too casual. They're not loving words. Girlfriend/boyfriend? People use it when they've dated for two weeks and will be broken up by three. For crying out loud, some FIFTH-GRADERS use it. "Significant other" is still too technical. What's left? "Lover" is going to raise some eyebrows these days; it used to be acceptable. My honey? Yechh. In Chinese, you can say "my beloved one," which is quite nice, but sounds pretentious in English. I think there are some nice terms in Japanese, too. English just doesn't cut it in this area--usually it has a plethora of synonyms with various shades of meaning, but not here. It's bothersome and, really, a little bit sad, I think.

(idea) by Ratoslov Lenev (6.2 y) (print) ? I like it! Mon Feb 21 2000 at 12:16:13

For some reason, Miss Manners suggests POSSLQ. That's the census acronym for Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. Pronounced 'Possel-que'

(idea) by Starrynight (3.4 mon) (print) ? I like it! Wed Feb 23 2000 at 4:15:46

I rather like the English ambiguity in this area, actually, possibly due to my excessively deep-seated sense of discretion. You can refer to a person by name, and let people figure it out. If they ask, you can tell them whatever you like, depending on the situation and the person who's asking.

No?

(idea) by icicle (4.9 d) (print) ? 1 C! I like it! Wed Feb 23 2000 at 4:30:28

My friend Susan came up with this one while she was dating Mike (and still cool):
FICO.
Officially
Committed
Intimate
Friends...
backwards.
Use it in good health.

(idea) by Quizro (2.5 wk) (print) ? I like it! Wed Feb 23 2000 at 17:40:57

Miss Manners first and foremost suggests the simple term "friend", taking the view that one's sex life is not a proper subject of discussion in polite society. If you introduce your date by saying "This is my friend Jane", others will pretty much get your meaning without you having to add "...whom I'm currently sleeping with." It also has the advantage of being non-gender specific.

(idea) by Carthag (2.5 mon) (print) ? I like it! Mon May 07 2001 at 20:45:28

Among the words we use in Denmark�is the gender-neutral "k�reste", which means "dearest one" (roughly translated, "Min k�reste" = "my dearest one"). It is pronounced like "caress-T" (etymologically, they are related, obviously!). It does sound a bit pretentious in English, but it's certainly not as bad as some of the other words we tend to use... (my woman, the hole - yeesh!, et cetera)

Audited March 22, 2002

printable version
chaos

Lesbian invisibility in language	What do I call her?	When not to break up with your girlfriend	Miss Manners
POSSLQ	A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius	People are impossible. I should know; I'm one of them.	Fico
breaking in a new wallet	A Question about Emotions	Burger King fries	Significant Other
Things you should never do with chopsticks	There exists no 1:1 mapping between words in different languages	Friends with privileges	girlfriend
pretentious	Semester at Sea	relationship	Japanese
Audit	Some things dannye taught me without trying	Genesis MUD	kindred spirit

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