The two-variable theory of relationships

• The degree to which you can have a conversation with the person.
• The degree to which you wish to fuck the person.

And three types of relationships:

• You talk to the person only in order to fuck them or to maintain a relationship that involves sex.
• Sex is a spinoff and/or expected consequence of a really good conversation.
• Both sex and conversation are great.

If you are in the first type of relationship, it won't last.

If you are in the second type of relationship, you'll either end up friends, or part ways.

If you are in the third type of relationship, this is a person to marry.

There are also two variables that play a role in whether or not you can know love:

• The degree to which you over-intellectualize your emotions.


• The degree to which you enclose the relationship in neat, stuffy little boxes.

The greater the first value is, the more impossible love becomes.

The second works much the same way. :)