A classic joke for many reasons, least of which is its use of the number three, with all of its mystic set-up/comic timing powers...
A young man who had been traveling across his country for many days stopped one night in front of a lonely house on a lonely road and knocked on the door.
An old man opened the door cautiously and asked, "What is it you want?"
"Please, sir, I am very tired, and my feet hurt. May I spend the night at your house?"
"I suppose so. But whatever you do, you must not sleep with my daughter! If you do, you will be subjected to the three worst torture tests known to man!"
The young man gave the older one a rather incredulous look and then agreed to the deal. As the young man entered the house, he smugly thought to himself, this old man's daughter must be at least 50 years old!
The old man showed the younger to his room and told him dinner would be served in half an hour. The young man took a nice long bath, relaxing his aching feet and enjoying his temporary reprieve from his journey.
30 minutes later, the young man stepped out of his room. The smell of an exquisite meal led him straight to the dining room. As he walked in, he turned and his jaw dropped. There sat the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her smile shined; her hair flowed; she was a modern Helen. The young man was immediately smitten. Suddenly he remembered his promise to the old man. He regained his composure and sat at the table.
Throughout dinner, the young man tried his hardest to avoid eye contact with the luscious lass next to him. He could tell the old man was eyeing him suspiciously, and he certainly did not want to face those tortures. But still ..
That night, as the young man lay in bed, unable to sleep, he heard a soft knocking on his door. He practically leapt to answer it, flinging the door open. There stood the girl, wearing a very revealing negligče and not much else.
"I've never seen another man besides my father before. You are certainly everything he's warned me about - tall, dark, and handsome - is it true what he says?"
"W-w-what does he say?"
"He says you're only interested in sex."
The young man gulped hard. "No! That's not true at all."
The girl began to pout. "Oh .. then I'm sorry! I thought you would like to .. maybe .. I'm sorry!" And she ran out of the room.
The young man quickly chased after her and grabbed her hand. He led her back to his room, and they began kissing. In the back of his mind, the young man remembered the father's warning, but this girl was insatiable. Besides, he thought, what could that old man do to me?
Several hours later ..
The young man awoke with a smile on his face. The night before had been incredible. All of those positions, all of those kisses ...
Suddenly his smile was replaced by a grimace. The girl was nowhere to be seen. Sitting on his chest was a large rock. On it was a note which read:
FIRST TORTURE TEST: LARGE ROCK ON CHEST
The young man struggled for a moment, then picked up the rock and rolled it off of him. Is that the best the old man could do? He picked up the rock and walked over to the window and threw it outside, back to nature where it belonged. As he let it go, he noticed a note on the underside of the rock. It read:
SECOND TORTURE TEST: RIGHT TESTICLE TIED TO ROCK
Facing imminent castration, he thought quickly. Suddenly, he had an idea. He climbed up on the windowsill and leapt out. Maybe I'll break an ankle, but better that than the alternative! As the young man fell to the ground, he looked up and saw a large banner hanging below his window that read:
THIRD TORTURE TEST: LEFT TESTICLE TIED TO BED
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