The benefits of being single

Many people ponder about how they can get a girlfriend/boyfriend. I will here try to list some of the benefits of singularity.

First of all: The freedom of choice. You can still, in theory, pick whoever you want. It is important to notice that for many single people, this is strictly in theory.

In Second spot, we have the benefit of getting better at masturbation. Actually, to truely appreciate real sex™, it is important to know how to stimulate oneself.

Our Third benefit is that to be allowed to clean the house, feed the chicken, carry out the garbage and make dinner whenever you want to.

The Fourth point is one of the more obvious: As masturbation requires very little prevention, and you don't get any one-night stands at all, you will be saving money.

Appendix A: OK, this is pathetic. Women of E2, please help me!

First of all, when you become involved with someone else, you become boring. I've seen this happen to all of my friends. When they get involved, they suddenly morph into this creature that only feeds off of the life force of another. That's all they think about, all they care about, and it's boring as hell. (These are the same people who come running back to you wanting a shoulder to cry on when their wonderful boyfriend has broken their hearts while virtually ignoring you the whole time of the relationship. Nice, huh?)

Second, it IS nice to have freedom of choice. You can't enjoy having crushes, you can't experience the feeling of having a guy or girl you like call you for the first time when you're involved in a relationship. And I don't think a boyfriend would approve of me going out to clubs and whoring my underage body out for drinks, even if I don't let anyone touch me.

Third, you become completely dependant on another person. You're also accountable. If your significant other doesn't approve of your extracurricular activities, such as drinking, psychedelic usage, or even stepping inside the doors to raves, guess what? You can't do it without getting a lot of crap for it. Yeah yeah, they're supposed to love you for who you are. But guess what? They don't!

You might get lonely every once in a while, but the freedom that you get is a definate bonus.