The Wretched Spearsean Army of Idiocy

created by moJoe

(thing) by moJoe (4.8 mon) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Fri May 26 2000 at 23:35:55

They are everywhere; wearing Britney pink and tossing their dyed hair to and fro. You thought that they were gone mid 90's. Lo! they have returned heralding the doom of humanity!

I simply cannot abide this for it is spittle in the very face of humanity. Upon the hill an army comes, loath it, for it brings with it a plague that smites human thought and...LIKE OH MY GOD, IS GAP HAVING A SALE?!?!?!

ARGH... Mus..t...fight...

But seriously, this has gotten way out of hand. I went to go out on a lunch break a couple days ago and foolishly I went to the food-court at the mall, craving the cheap-o baked Ziti I knew to be found there. I go to stand in line and mind my business.

So there I am, staring out into space as I am known to do when I get very hungry and suddenly this Spearsean nitwit walks up behind me bobbing and burbling in her hip hugging capri pants and Britney pink v-necked tee-shirt.
I make no exagerations when I tell you that she turned, looked me up and down, appraising me in all my untrendy hoody wearing, unshaven glory and had the gall to snort and roll her eyes.

I wanted nothing more than to careen her head off of the plexiglass sneezeguard.

Instead I calmly looked her right in the eye, looked directly down at her knees, looked back at her, cocked my head to one side, smiled that special smug ass-hole smile and said,
"Nice highwaters".
Her bloated head turned as pink as her shirt and she stormed off. I must admit, I was fairly impressed she knew what highwaters were.

printable version
chaos

highwaters	Statements that would be shocking to people living in 1975	Britney's Guide to Semiconductor Physics	Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations	Sorry, I don't work here	Abercrombie & Fitch	I have Jesus in my asshole, does that count?
capri pants	Nice people swallow	racial profiling	More David Hewson Idiocy
nice guy complex	baked ziti	Stormtrooper	The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Nice boots, wanna fuck?	Brain Teaser	A very very nice man	Woolly Mammoth
Wiki	special relativity	Debra Ann's got a tiger in her hips	Armadillo

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