The Secession of Canada from the Republic of Quebec

The neverendum keeps on going and going, and at the same time Quebec keeps accusing the Canadian government of oppression and demands more autonomy. Not knowing too much about the intricacies of Canadian politics, i cannot give details. This is all I know:

1. In the 1970's some important dude was shot by radical seperatists.
2. The Canadian federal government is perpetually under the control of Quebec politicians for some reason
3. There is a language police in Quebec
4. Everyone in Canada must learn French even if they don't want to learn it
5. Quebec continually demands special privileges as a minority faction
6. All Canadians are sick of Quebec
7. Quebec has accused France of not being French enough (if that is possible)
8. The Montreal Canadiens suck (that didn't have anything to do with it, but oh well it is true)

So what is the solution? Simple. Abandon Quebec. I have read a few articles suggesting the idea (not too seriously, the journalist is probably afraid of the radical separatist death squads responsible for killing that official).

My cousins don't want to speak French, they hate it. I hate it. Luckily, I left Canada and picked up Deutsch instead. Neither them nor me, as Canadians, feel any association with Quebec whatsoever.

Canada is a great country with 10 provinces. Lose one to become nine, it is still a great country. In fact, the abandoning of Quebec probably wouldn't even dent the sense of national identity. It might even strengthen it. Instead of a fractured, bickering bunch of provinces, it becomes a unified country. All Quebec has done is cause trouble.

Au revoir Le Québec! Nous ne nous ennuierons pas de vous!

Ich hasse Franzosen. Solch eine dumme Sprache.

This reminds me of a joke that went around the last time that secession talk made the news down in the US...

A Newfie, a Vancouverite, and a Quebecois are walking along a beach when they spot an old brass lamp half-buried in the sand. The Newfie picks up the lamp and rubs it for kicks. And a genie emerges.

"You know the routine, guys," says the genie. "Three wishes, one for each of you."

The Newfie speaks first. "I wish that the Grand Bank will be full of fish for the rest of my life."

The genie nods. "Very well. I'll send you back home, and whenever you go out fishing, you'll always come home with a full load." He snaps his fingers, and the Newfie disappears.

The Quebecois speaks next. "I wish that Quebec were surrounded by a wall, a mile thick and five miles high, so that the rest of Canada can't get in."

The genie nods. "Very well. I'll send you back home, and Quebec will be sealed off for all time." He snaps his fingers, and the Quebecois disappears.

The Vancouverite is left. "I think I know my wish, but let me ask you how big that wall was again?"

"A mile thick and five miles high", says the genie.

"And nothing can possibly get in?"

"Neither in nor out."

The Vancouverite grins. "Great! Here's my wish! Fill it up with water!"