The Motorcycle Song

CHORUS:
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy
...cle.

It was late last night the other day
I thought I'd go up and see Ray
So l went up and I saw Ray
There was only one thing Ray could say, was:

CHORUS

This song is about the time that I was ridin' my motorcycle. Going down a mountain road, at 150 miles an hour, playin' my guitar. On one side of the mountain road there was a mountain, and on the other side there was nothin' - there was a cliff in the air.

Now, when you're going down a mountain road at 150 miles an hour you gotta be very careful, especially if you're playin' a guitar. Especially if that guitar is an acoustic guitar.
Because if it's an acoustic guitar, the wind pressure is greater on the box side than on the neck side, because there's more guitar on the box side. I wasn't paying attention...

Luckily I didn't go into the mountain - I went over the cliff. I was goin' at 150 miles an hour sideways and 500 feet down at the same time.

I knew it was the end. I looked down, I said "Wow! Some trip". I thought it...well I knew it was...I knew it was my last trip, and in my last remaining seconds in world,I decided to write one last farewell song to the world.

Put a new ink cartridge in my pen. Took out a piece of paper. I sat back and I thought awhile. Then I started writin':
I don't want a pickle
Just want to ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
'Cause I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want to die
Just want to ride on my motorcy
...cle."

I knew that it wasn't the best song I ever wrote, but I didn't have time to change it. I was comin' down mighty fast.

But as you all know, and as fate would have it, I didn't die. I landed on the top of a police car. And he died. I drove away on the road that he was on. I came into town at a screamin' 175 miles an hour, playin' the motorcycle song.

I came into town, I jumped off my bike, the bike went around the corner by itself, went up on the stand by itself, turned itself off.

I walked over to my friend. He was standing there eatin' pickles. I said "Hi, what's happenin'?" He looked at me in the eye and said... "Nothin'".

You gotta sing it with that kind of enthusiasm. Like you just squashed a cop...

CHORUS

Well, that's one version. But there are others. It was probably different each time he sung it, in many small ways. But there is one other famous version -- the 'Significance of the Pickle' version. So here it is:

you know, it's been about 12 years now, that I've been singing this dumb song. You know, it's amazing that somebody could get away with singing a song this dumb, for that long. But you know what's more amazing than that? That someone could make a living singing a song this dumb.
But, that's America.

You know, I've told about everything there was to tell about it -- when I wrote it, how come, why, whatfor, But you know the one thing that I always used to neglect to explain, was the significance of the pickle.

Was a time when I was riding my bike, I was going down a mountain road. I was doing 150 miles an hour. On one side of the mountain road there was a mountain, and on the other side there was nothing -- was just a cliff and the air. But I wasn't paying attention, you know, I was just driving down the road.

All of a sudden by accident (twang!), a string broke off my guitar. It broke, you know, right there, went flying across the road that way, wrapped itself around a yield sign... but the sign didn't break - it didn't come out the ground - the string stayed wrapped around it. Stayed in the other end of my guitar. I held on to my guitar with one hand. I held onto the bike with the other. I made a sharp turn off the road. Luckily I didn't go into the mountain. I went over the cliff.

I was doing 150 miles an hour sideways and 500 feet down at the same time. I was looking for the cops 'cause, you know, hey I knew that, you know, it was illegal. I knew that that was it. I knew I didn't have long to live in this world. And in my last remaining seconds in the world I knew that it was my obligation to write one last farewell song to the world.

Took out a piece of paper. I pulled out a pen. And it didn't write. I had to put another ink cartridge in it. I sat back and I thought a while and then it come to me - it come like a flash -- like a vision, burnt across the clouds. I just wrote it down. I learnt it right away:

I don't want a pickle, just wanna ride on my motorsickle.
And I don't want a tickle, I'd rather ride on my motorsickle.
And I don't wanna die, just wanna ride on my motorcy
...cle

Hey, I knew it wasn't the best song I ever wrote, but I didn't have time to change it. But you know the most amazing thing was that I didn't die! I landed on the top of a police car... and it died!

I come into town -- I come into town at a screaming 175 miles an hour, singing my new motorsickle song, I stepped out the front of a deli, and out the front of the deli was a man eating the most tremendous pickle! A pickle the size of four pregnant watermelons -- just a huge monster pickle! He walked up to me, he pushed the pickle in my face and started asking me questions.

I don't want a pickle
Just wanna ride on my motorsickle
And I don't want a tickle
I'd rather ride on my motorsickle
And I don't wanna die
Just wanna ride on my motorcy...
cle

Transcibed from old Napster files.