| A bawdy wenching song:
Chorus:
Moose, moose, I like a moose.
I've never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had many lovers, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.
When I was a younger I used to like boys,
I fondled their bodies, I played with their toys.
Till me husband ran off with a salesman named Bruce.
You'll never get treated that way by a moose!
Chorus
I've done it with all sorts of beasties with hair;
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were't there,
But it's not just the same when you pull the caboose,
As the feeling you get when you're ramming a moose!
Chorus
The people of old, they had their icons,
The Greeks, the Romans, the Amazons,
But get away God, Allah, Buddha and Zeus,
I'll only go down on my knees for a moose!
Chorus
When I'm in the mood for a very fine lay,
I go to the barn and I get me some hay.
I open the window and spread it around,
Cause the moose always comes when there's hay on the ground!
Chorus | 
