The Loudmouthed E2 Seattle Debauch

holy crap! live nude noders!

http://wonko.com/wonkocam/index.php (you missed it, kids. tsk, tsk, tsk.)

the time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things

It shall occur on August 4, 2001. There shall be walking around Seattle. There shall be fish flying through the air. There shall be poetry. There shall be weird 50s architecture. There shall be nonconventional mass transit. There shall be a tiny apartment. There shall be music. There shall be a monkey made from a coconut. There shall be debauchery. There shall be eat poop you cat. There shall be a funky typewriter, upon which shall be written the writeup contributed by some people (but not the most people). There shall be a giant troll. There shall be noding on two computers apparently many computers as people are asking if they can bring laptops, one of which might be a macintosh classic. There shall be people speaking loudly.

There shall be achan (I guess dental problems have rendered our man in Van unable to attend. Thus, no signing of buttocks at the debauch.)
There shall be conform
There shall be dwyn
There shall be flamingweasel
There shall be icicle
There shall be ideath (Who is giving up both Nader and Jonathan Richman to be here! What dedication!)
There shall be jasonm
There shall be joyquality (Um, probably Definitely! Huzzah!)
There shall be kamamer
There shall be mike626
There shall be moJoe
There shall be prole
There shall be pseudo_intellectual
There shall be pyrogenic
There shall be doctor qous (Wearing just saran wrap and a smile!)
There shall be radlab0
There shall be seeya (In New York at the time, and thus unable to attend. What tragedy!)
There shall be sparky (Due to family crisis, will not be attending. A proxy debaucher will be appointed for him)
There may be svaha
There shall be thefez (Who has decided to head east a bit early, and thus will not be attending. The horror!)
There shall be unless
There shall be wonko
There shall be wonkoDsane
There shall be you? /msg me!

...

The plans just keep getting firmer. We're up to cold tofu now, folks!

Saturday Pre-3pm! Last minute things and gathering folks from various transports. Please message me when you get your tickets so I know when to expect y'all. If you're in town and want to meet up, gimme a call or just head over -- notes will be left if we're away.

Saturday, 3 pm! We'll be at the Seattle Center, at the fountain. All in-town noders should meet us here now. We will be sitting on the grass, throwing frisbees, watching the kiddies play in the fountain, perhaps play in the fountain ourselves. Just look for the group of strange folks with at least one e₂ shirt among them (I'll be wearing the Nodespotting shirt)

Saturday, 4pm! A trip on the fabulous, world famous, Seattle Monorail into downtown. See the sights! Watch the flying fish! Gather materials for late-night sushi!

Saturday, 5:30ish or whenever we get tired of downtown! Head back up north, into Belltown and to the Sit 'n Spin for eating.

Saturday, 7:30ish! Return to the chez weasel. A movie will be in full effect (Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai or Wings of Desire? You'll have to show up to find out), along with late night Sushi courtesy the good doctor, excursions to the Fremont Troll, forcing the cat to eat poop, a late night walk to the biggest goddamn Denny's on the fawking planet, among other things. I've decided that p_i's right about the groop trip to the Slam Championships -- not entirely condusive to noderbonding, and kind of expensive, and maybe not so interesting to the entirety of the seattle debauch crew. Those who really want to hit this can hit it and return apres-slam for some beer & conversation at chez weasel, and those who don't can eat sushi and watch movie and talk loudly in the tiny apartment.

Sunday! There are tenuous plans for breakfast at the Hurricane Cafe and a dinner excursion to the eastside for the amazing Dixie's Barbeque in order to meet The Man. Stay in town -- it'll be fun!

...

Directions! Woo!

Address: 3227 14th Ave W., Apt #5, Seattle, Washington, 98119

Out of towners:

1. From either north or south I-5, take exit 167, mercer street exit (you also might see signs for Seattle Center on this exit). On I-5 north, this exit is on the left side of the road, so be ready (to be more clear: wonko, slow down to warp 1 when you get into downtown seattle :-))
2. As you get off the offramp and see the first set of stoplights, get into the far right lane and take the forced right.
3. You are now on a one-block, 4 lane road that dead ends into another road; get into the second to rightmost lane, then take the forced left from this lane. You are now heading west on Valley
4. You should be in the far right lane, which becomes a forced right onto Westlake
5. After about 1.5 miles, as you pass beneath a pretty big bridge, Westlake forks: stay in the left lane, onto Nickerson towards Seattle Pacific University. If you pass over the Fremont bridge, you took the wrong path.
6. Stay on Nickerson for 1.5 miles; as you approach 14th the road will fork again; take the left branch, towards the Ballard Bridge. Immediately after the fork, take a left onto 14th.
7. I'm on the right, very close to the first stop sign you encounter. If you pass the church on the right, you've gone too far. Look for a sign for "The Royalette" (great name, no?), and park nearby -- there ought to be parking on the street. If not, have someone run in and grab me & I'll assist.
8. Street Address: 3227 14th Ave W. I'm on the middle level, apartment number 5 -- the only door on this level without a number, the second one, the middle one. You get the picture, I hope.

...

...

If anyone has a webcam they could bring to the shindig, along with a notion of how to use it under either win2k or linux, that'd be rad. The next day... Hot damn! Both prole and wonko will be bringing 'cams. It'll be like one of those reality shows where every moment of a group's life is recorded! The question is, who's going to be voted off the island first?

If you're planning on bringing a laptop and have a hub, /msg me -- i've only got 2 free ports on my hub, and the hub that was supposed to have come up here courtesy professor qous may be in Minnesota.

Be There...Or Be Square

Accommodations could be...tight if there aren't any other Seattle noders who can put people up. I've got:

• 1 futon, beds 2 (if they're cozy)
  
  
• One spare room; I'd say 6 is the max in there. It's carpeted, but bring sleeping stuff (pillow, pad, sleeping bag, stuffed bear) 'cause I don't have a whole lot of that sort of stuff.
  
  

   h   e   l   l       y   e   a   h   !

I shall most very-definitely-certainly-barring-meteors-or-marauding-ginger-farmers be in attendance! After missing the Portland gathering by a mere 4 days, and after organizing and attending the somewhat depressing Minneapolis gathering, I am ready for a real e2 debauch of doom. And with any luck, I shall be accompanied by the one and only Joyquality!

A few suggestions for optimal fun enhancement:

• Late-night sushi making! I'll bring the nori.
• A trip to the marvelous Sit 'n Spin, the most glorious laundromat this side of Baltimore
• If I have anything to say about it, there shall be swinging and merry-go-rounds! Up and down and round and round...
• Monopoly by candlelight! Boggle by candlelight! Strip Chutes and Ladders by candlelight!
• A rollicking round of Pirates and Sailors to accompany EPYC
• Seattle Monolith pilgrimage... is that thing still around?
• Sidewalk Chalk art at Red Square
• Pustefix, baby!

I am coming up from Portland, and will probably be taking the train into King Street Station. However, I would like to know if anyone is interested in carpooling. If you'd like to ride, /msg me. More importantly, if you have a car (which I don't) and want to share your space, /msg me. We can stop at Spiffy's in Chehalis along the way.

And, if flamingweasel continues to insist, I might even show up wearing saran wrap.

D ∙ A ∙ M ∙ N     S ∙ T ∙ R ∙ A ∙ I ∙ G ∙ H ∙ T

I'd suggest people show up a day early and go with me to the AREA:ONE FESTIVAL: Moby, OutKast, New Order, The Roots, and Paul Oakenfold, maybe even Carl Cox! Not only is the lineup great, this might be your one chance to see the best concert venue in the world. Only $60.40! ($72.65 through TicketMa$ter) Tickets still available...order now! :-) Please /msg me if you are interested -- it's a long drive. (www.areafestival.com)

UPDATE

RoboCup-2001 in Seattle, August 4-10, 2001
Dear Microsoft Summer Interns,

Let me introduce myself. My name is Manuela Veloso, and I am an Associate Professor of Computer Science and Robotics at Carnegie Mellon University. This year, I am the chair of an international event fostering reserch on Artificial Intelligence and Robotics, RoboCup-2001. RoboCup-2001, with teams of soccer and also rescue robots, will be held for the FIRST TIME in the United States, in Seattle at the Washington Convention Center, August 4-10, 2001!

RoboCup-2001 is open to the public every day 7:30am-6:00pm (or probably until 8:00pm - we are still trying to see if this 8pm is possible). Below I give some more details, but this message is my personal invitation to all of you to attend RoboCup. I expect it to be a very interesting event in Computer Science and Robotics. The exact schedule of the games will be available on the RoboCup-2001 Web page on August 2nd.

I hope to see you there!
Regards,
Manuela Veloso
General Chair, RoboCup-2001
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~robocup2001

I'm living in downtown Bellevue, scant moments from Seattle as long as there's more than one person in my car. My apartment could accomodate many sleeping bags and associated noders: we have TWO BATHROOMS and broadband inet access. My roommate is tall but harmless, unless you get him on a topic related to human exretions (it's better not to ask.) He might even have finished his software cable descrambler by then.

I'd suggest everyone would enjoy walking around Fremont. Vintage shops, bookstores, a statue of Lenin and a cold war missile -- what's not to love?! I'd suggest 21+ (year old) noders take a pub tour around Fremont, or at least visit the Red Hook brewery. There's so much good beer in Washington, I've forgotten what else there is to drink. In a similar vein, people might like the Kirkland waterfront -- you never know.

If a reasonable number of people would like to see the Microsoft campus, and maybe an office or two, I could swing that, too. I can also spend up to $350 at the Microsoft Company Store, where MSFT products are ~1/10 the cost, if anyone wants anything. Like Office:mac for $50!

You can expect:

• FANTASY MISSION FORCE -- awwww yeah!
• a varaiety of malt beverages.
• perhaps a variety of other beverages.
• my vaio (noding station #3).
• my camera(s) (someone has to fill in for Becca!)*
• 160+ movies with all hardware necessary to view them. Or not, if we won't be needing them. Let me know.
• Lots and lots of amphetamines. (It's a prescription! I swear!) (j/k)
• The Spammish Inquisition.
• the unexpected.

* : If anyone has a fast ~50mm Nikon-compatible lens I could use, I'd be much obliged -- I'm currently operating with an 18-35/2.8 and a 70-300/4.6. Not ideal for snapshots in low light.

food: Brave the 520 floating bridge in pursuit of flame or fish: Bellevue harbors the ultra-awesome (sadly lacking in vegetarian options, though) Dixie's Barbecue. Or hit Old Redmond for some of my favorite sushi anywhere at Nara. Order a Nara special roll -- it's kind of like a dragon roll. It's what got me hooked on raw fish. Nara also has a full menu of assorted Japanese food for the fish-freaked.

drink: Hit South Capitol Hill for beverages of intoxication. The Pike-Pine neighborhood is the best in Seattle for bar-crawling. There are too many decent drinkeries to list, and more than enough to suit any particular mood the group tends towards. Though I will say: If you're in the mood for huge cheap drinks, the Cadillac Grille is an underappreciated destination. Sit in the diner for greasy food, the dance floor if you want to watch silly soft gay porn videos and bad dancing,. or the little bar inbetween for a little of both!

I'll add more as I think of it...

p o o p

I am telling myself that I must make it to this. I missed the Portland tea party because I got lost (in my own damn city, no less), and I missed the Portland gathering because I was in Ohio at the time, and I missed the Ohio gathering because I was back in Portland by then.

So, dammit, I will be in Seattle.

I'll most likely be giving qousqous a ride up from Portland in my supa-fly, supa-fast WRX, and I've got room for two more (three if you don't mind being scrunched) if anyone needs a ride.

I'll also (probably) be bringing:

• joyquality
• Unless
• ideath (?)
• Two non-noders (?)
• A Windows 2000/Linux-compatible webcam
• My digital camera (which, upon my return, may or may not contain noder porn)
• Gobs and gobs of emotional baggage
• A long trail of pissed off and tired Oregon and/or Washington state troopers who would all like very much to shoot me or run me over or both.

I'm not sure, yet, whether I'll stay the night. Hotels annoy me and I'd hate imposing on someone. I might drive back to Portland Saturday night/Sunday morning, or if I must, I might sleep in my car in someone's driveway and drive home in the morning.

A word of warning: I have an uncanny knack for getting lost, and I've never driven to Seattle before (much less in Seattle). Chances are, if the cops don't arrest me for excessive (and I mean excessive) speeding violations on the trip up, I'll probably get lost for hours in Seattle. Fuck. Oh well.

Prediction: I will be very quiet, smile goofily a lot, perhaps utter an occasional sarcastic comment, and you will all think I'm not quite sure how to participate in the goings-on. Worry not, I am participating quite happily in my own little way.

Oh, and I will eat WonkoDSane once and for all.

Super-happy-fun Update of Joy (07/23/01):

After Unless and I discovered that we live within inches (well, maybe a little more than inches) of each other, he'll be joining me and qousqous on the way up. Hooray!

I have also recently purchased a Playstation 2. I've got Gran Turismo 3: A-spec, and I hear Crazy Taxi 2 is out, so this could be fun.

Super-happy-fun Update of Joy #2 (07/24/01):

Ye pooping gods! I may have convinced some NON-NODERS to join us! Will I be stoned to death?

My two roommates, despite not being noders (though they do know what E2 is, since I speak of it often), have expressed an interest in joining me at the Seattle Debauch. It's tentative, still, but they might follow me up there. Yay! Fresh meat!

Super-happy-fun Update of Joy #3 (08/03/01):

The madness is about to begin!

It looks like my car will be packed full on the way up. Myself, qousqous, Joyquality, Unless, and possibly ideath will all be scrunched into the little thing. Unfortunately, this means warp five will most likely not be attainable, due to weight considerations. However, warp four is still very much in the green.

In spite of my last update, I will not be bringing two non-noders with me. They lost their enthusiasm for the trip, and I realized that I spend all my damn time with them anyway (they're my roommates) and I don't want 'em hanging off me in Seattle this weekend.

And, Pyrogenic, I would very much like to see this Microsoft campus you speak of!

F  u  c  k  i  n  g      A  !

I want to be there. I'll drive (from Northern California) if I find someone to go with me (and perhaps even spend Friday night in Eugene or Portland, OR?), otherwise I'll be on some Alaska Airlines flight or another...

I shall bring:

• me
• my laptop with an Ethernet card (noding station #4)
• my digital camera (Canon Powershot G1)
• other noders and/or cool non-noders (if I'm driving)

I shall take back:

• WonkoDSane (also only if I'm driving)

Complications may well have been the result of a teensy weensy bit of selfish optimalization on my part; compounding my bumping the meet over early on from Vancouver to Seattle to accomodate my desire to hop the border and catch the poetry slammery (as close to my hometown as I presume it ever will be), I engineered and arranged events such that the night of The Big "While I'm in Seattle, I may as well interact with regional noders" E2Con was planted squarely on the same night that the big Slam Finals competition will be. Why did I do that? Simply put, because I will have been taking in approximately four hours a day of slam activities for each of the previous three days and by Saturday night predict being either seething or discontent enough to REQUIRE a major, non-slam-related event in order to maintain my sweet demeanour.

Of course, this was before I realised that Svaha would be involved.

In any event, (in credence with my failing to have proposed activities for this meet) my belief is that as far as e2cons go, mere interaction with the physical shells of the node-avatars is far and above more interesting than pretty much any other activity in which the interaction could be set. I fear that gathering umpteen people together from different states merely to shell out $17, sit in a dark room and clap (or scowl) at the appropriate moments of emotional intensity would (here it comes) make for poor meet reviews and poor memories of each other - not bad ones, but merely hazy, distracted by the atmosphere and overwhelming egos on stage.

Some might consider it folly for me to travel across international boundaries to observe the championships - and then bail out on the final round, but from time to time I can really be one of those perverse bastards to whom the journey is more important than the destination.

In any event, what I'm up to in this writeup is not to contribute my two cents against Poetry Slamifying the meet, but rather to suggest to those in the Seattle area: if you're intrigued by the slam festival going on in your own city but not enough to make the investment of both the meet and the moolah, meet up with me earlier in the week to take in some of the earlier slam and slam-related events for less or even free. (Of course, some might argue that there is no such thing as a free slam.)

Wednesday, August 1st: preliminary rounds at a number of venues (I'll be stalking Teams Vancouver and Pittsburgh to maximise my cheerleading and Svaha-scoping abilities) from 8-9:30 pm and 10-11:30 pm, $5 a shot.

Thursday, August 2nd: more preliminary rounds (because there are a lot of poets from a lot of cities competing!), same times as the night before. Also also the VanSlam-hosted Karaoke at the Sit 'n Spin starting at midnight running into Friday.

Friday, August 3rd: 1:30-3 pm, 5th Wheel slam at the New Orleans Creole Restaurant, followed by the Slam Masters slam 3:35-5 pm a block away at the Central Tavern. Later that night is the Exhibition slam ($10) from 7:30-8:30, and semifinals for both teams (9-10:30) and individual (11-12:30) slam poets, also $10 a pop.

Even on the very day the meet's scheduled upon, Saturday, August 4th, I plan to take in a couple of free slam performances (the Haiku slam at the Central Tavern 1:30-3 pm and the group slam performances following there from 3:30 to 5), depending on how late the loudmouthed shebang gets underway. (If anyone could arbitrate a starting time and location around that neighbourhood, I'd be greatly obliged.)

And of course at various times during this multi-day orgy of performance poetry I may be found at the Worlds' Longest continuous open stage at the Hurricane café, running 24 hours a day from 12:00 am Wednesday to 12:00 am Sunday. If I'm sufficiently jazzed, I may even step up to share some words - words which you might even be familiar with following subtle perusings in this very database.

I'll see yuz soon and above all - enjoy yourself!

If you enjoy yourself lots, also remember: there'll be a retinal burning redux a couple of hours away in Vancouver, BC the night of August 8th - failing a node, /msg me for further details, as well as the prefetal e2 end of summer denial of school northwest gathering in Portland again another few days later on the 18th... The whole previous year's worth of Northwest cons packed into two weeks! Yow! We could make this August the roving Pacific Northwest meet that never ended, Grateful Dead-style!

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