The Exploding Cow

(thing) by TheLordScribe (1.7 y) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Feb 13 2001 at 2:10:55

This is an urban legend I heard a while back, so don't take every word of this as literal fact =P.

In 1996, there was farmer in northern Iowa by the name of Jake Evans. He wasn't by any means the brightest farmer in the world, or the hardest working, and he enjoyed having fun every now and then.

One fateful July morning, Jake learned something that would cause him a premature death. He was reading a newspaper, when he came across an article about how much cows polute the atmosphere with their methane farts. An idea dawned on Jake. Methane is highly flamable. He wondered what would happen if he stuck a lighter under a cow's ass.....

So, when he went to milk the cows that evening he took his trusty lighter with him. He milked the biggest cow he had first and waited for the cow to fart. When the cow showed its first sign of flatulence, Jake made his move. He lifted up the cows tail and thumbed his lighter into action. Jake was ecstatic to see a blue line of flame appear where the cow was farting. The flame grew bigger and bigger, until it went went straight into the cow's anus. For a few seconds, Jake stood dumbfounded. Then, without warning, the cow exploded.

Poor Jake never stood a chance. He was hit with the cow's flying femur bone and was knocked dead instantly. As for the cow, it's remains are said to have flown up to 100 yards from the site where it exploded.

It is hypothesized that the cow exploded for the following reason: The flame was met with an incredibly large amount of methane inside the bowels of the cow; so much, in fact, that the cow's bowels couldn't contain the chemical reaction so the cow combusted. In other words: the cow must have had a shitload of beans for breakfast. The moral of the story: never stick flames of any kind under a cow's posterior.

.......Big thanks to the Darwin Awards for supplying this information!

printable version
chaos

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