The Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie

created by moJoe

(thing) by moJoe (1.2 wk) (print) ? (I like it!) 1 C! Sat Feb 19 2000 at 1:57:50

Today I have decided to go with a conspiracy theme. Here is a write-up from http://zoam.tripod.com/afdb.html. I hope you enjoy this factual (if not entertaining) info. :P

"An Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB) is a type of head-wear that can shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind-control carriers. AFDBs are inexpensive (even free if you don't mind scrounging for thrown-out aluminium foil) and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of a chimp (maybe bonobo). This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind-control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable."

"What are you waiting for? Make one today!"

Instructions

Get a five foot sheet of aluminum foil (standard one foot wide Reynolds Wrap brand will do nicely.)
Fold the sheet four times into five equal segments so that you end up with a 1x1 foot square, making sure that you fold over the dull side of the foil leaving the square shiny on both sides.
Use scissors to cut from one corner of the square to the center, making a straight line.
Bend the foil from one side of the cut under the other, making a slight cone. Again, make sure that the outside of the cone has a shiny side of the foil; this is VERY important.
Place the cone on your head and squash the top and sides to make it fit snugly.
Apply Scotch tape liberally making sure to secure the cut in the foil and any form-fitting creases made in step 5.
Use more tape to secure AFDB to your cranium.

A Note About The Shiny Side:

It can't be stressed enough how important it is to have the shiny side pointing out. This is needed because the shiny side is most reflective to psychotronic radiation, while the dull side can actually, in certain environmental conditions, absorb it. However, as is illustrated in the instructions above, it is also wise to complement this with a layer of foil pointing shiny side in. This will keep your brain waves, which are also reflected by the shiny side, from being picked up by mind-reading equipment. There is a small number of aluminum foil researchers who believe that this may cause an alpha-wave harmonic to build up in the skull resulting in memory loss or pseudo-religious visions, but their findings have never been replicated by the aluminum foil research community at large. Even if their findings are validated, the risk involved is small compared to the potential of mind-intrusion.

Optional:

You may augment your AFDB with random bits of foil, wire, small electronic parts, etc.. Canadian coins should also be considered as they are high in nickel content. Nickel, while not having the psychotronic deflecting properties of aluminum (or even tin), can act to refract psychotronic beams, thereby helping to scrambling the mind-control signals as they are deflected off of the underlying aluminum surface of the AFDB. This will result in a lowered chance of retransmission of the signal.

However, you should avoid American and European coins at all costs as they contain aluminum based mind-control circuitry. Canadian coins are free of this threat mainly due to the Canadian governments's choice of neglecting psychotronic research in favor of research into giant robotics.

Tips:

Tinsel is made of plastic and has no anti-psychotronic attributes.

Painting your AFDB with a latex based paint won't degrade its abilities, so you can be mentally safe AND color-coordinated too!

"Beer can hats", though made out of aluminum cans, are not as effective as an AFDB since they have gaps inbetween the cans. You may, however, line a beer can hat with an AFDB or even glue the cans directly on an AFDB.

Editor Note: Consolidated from two writeups.

printable version
chaos

There are some things you just should NOT buy the generic brand of	electromagnetic pulse gun	Wrap tin foil around your head	DNA Dump Station
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