Technically, it's unlikely you were dropkicked by Jesus

created by fortunato

(idea) by fortunato (3.8 y) (print) ? (I like it!) 4 C!s Sun Apr 13 2003 at 3:10:09

Dropkick Me Jesus (Through The Goalposts Of Life) is an American country music song written by Paul Craft and recorded by Bobby Bare in 1976. The reference here is to the game of American football. (Note: This should not be confused with the sport referred to as "football" by the vast majority of the planet, which we have taken to calling "soccer" instead.)

The phrase itself is not entirely self-consistent in this regard, as the entire concept of "dropkicking" is a highly anachronistic concept in American football, let alone dropkicking as a viable means of scoring a field goal. The general consensus among various experts on the sport seems to be that no one has attempted a true dropkick since the early 1960s. (Contrary to popular belief, punting and dropkicking are not the same animal.)

It might be tempting to try and explain away the song's curious reference to dropkicking a field goal as a nod to "Arena Football," a relatively new sport which makes wider use of the dropkick and is generally considered the ugly red-headed stepchild of traditional American football. However, Arena Football was not even conceived by its inventor, James Foster, until February, 1981. In all likelihood, the only real explanation for the song title is that its author didn't consider, "Placekick Me Jesus (Through The Goalposts Of Life)" to have the same "je ne sais quoi," even though, technically, anyone Jesus might have used to score points against any recent opponents was almost certainly placekicked (assuming they weren't involved in a play from scrimmage resulting in a touchdown).

Aside from these various technical considerations, this is a rather curious metaphor for ecclesiastical insight through divine intervention. Being kicked in any manner is not usually considered to be an enviable proposition, and the thought of being summarily dropped to the ground before the actual kicking commences, frankly, sounds even less inviting. Having your god gently lead you by the hand into a state of spiritual ecstasy sounds much less jarring and would probably be more effective in proselytizing. This dropkicking business might appeal to new converts if your god is a prowling ninja with a penchant for Shaolin Soccer, but to most of us it sounds like a somewhat dubious talent for God the Son to rehearse here on planet Earth. While God may very well have Real Ultimate Power, I'm pretty sure that he only flips out on Mephistopheles and his cronies.

printable version
chaos

Drop kick	realultimatepower.net	Shaolin Soccer	Look! That x looks like Jesus!
Jesus Loves Torque	je ne sais quoi	Mephistopheles	Arena Football
Was Jesus resurrected as the Easter Bunny?	Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue	Jesus undoubtedly said this or something very like it	Have you come here to play Jesus?
Beat like a redheaded stepchild	Satan shoots and... Jesus Saves!	How Would Jesus Drive?	soccer
Thousand-word paragraphs give me a headache	She doesn't look like Mother anymore	Impressing a woman	Drop Kick Me Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Rugby Union	rugby	I get high on Jesus	divine intervention

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