Sun Headlines

The Sun is a fascist, racist, xenophobic British tabloid piece of shit, and they have a bizarre compulsion to sum up entire news stories in strange-sounding headlines, presumably for the pigshit-thick readers who can't handle more than ten words in a row without needing a rest. The rules are simple: one person picks a recent event from their lives or a news story or whatever is handy. The other person has to make up a Sun Headline that sums the story up in the (a) shortest, (b) silliest (c) rhymingest way possible. There are extra points scored if the headline starts with "TOP POP", but this is rare - a lot of their headlines seem to start in this way, for example a famous DJ would be a "TOP POP JOCK".

How did it start? There was a copy of the Sun lying around at work one day (I would never buy it, not after the sickening shit they printed about Hillsborough), and the front page featured a story about a high-ranking police detective who had a sex change to become a woman. He was sacked because of this, for some reason, but after an appeal was given his job back. How did The Sun sensitively put it in the headline, so as not to cause any offence or belittle transsexuals? "TOP COP IN NOB-CHOP OP KEEPS JOB SHOCK". Marvellous. How to insult loads of people with as few words as possible.

So to start you off with a story transformed into a Sun Headline: "a newbie e2 noder complains in the catbox that his writeup on not having enough money to get drunk got downvoted" - this would translate as "TOP E2 TOT IN STINGY BINGE WHINGE". I would score extra points for use of the word "TOP", but not as many as I would have got if I'd managed to use "TOP POP". However, this is counteracted by my astonishingly clever use of the double-rhyme method. As you can see, like Mornington Crescent, you can probably make up the rules as you go along.

Sun Headlines: A great game for all the family. As long as the family are all stoned, lazy-arse ex-students in their 20's with nothing better to do.