Ah the heart; pumps blood, pumps more blood, keeps you alive. But, has it ever really helped you (aside from the keeping you alive and what not)? Consider, if you will, what has your heart done for you? The short, and simple answer, is nothing! That's right folks, that plump little pulsating organ we call a heart just sits there mocking you with its little "ka-thunk" every hour of every day. Even worse, the harder you work, the more it expresses its malcontentedness with your existence.
Think to yourself, "Self, what has my heart done for me lately?" If you're like most heart ridden souls of this world, you'll jump to the immediate conclusion that it never helped you pass that final exam back in your twelfth grade physics class. In fact, it just made its mocking noise and shook your ribcage to distract you from the task at hand. That pestilent mound of muscle even made that first kiss difficult! It's never helped you win friends, get that dream job, fix your car. It simply kept you borderline alive so that you could endure its imprecation.
Tell me folks, is this the kind of organ you'd live your life for? I think not. Do the right thing. ORDER A BIONIC HEART TODAY! CALL NOW AND GET THIS SALAD SHOOTER ATTACHMENT, CD-ROM DRIVE, AND HEART-ATTACK SIMULATOR ROM FOR ONLY AN ADDITIONAL $39.95!! CALL TODAY!! OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!!
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