Stoners will smoke anything

This is a piece of common received wisdom. Many people accept it as true without any empirical evidence whatsoever. Until now, that is.

Myself and His Imperial Majesty were at a party. One of those parties. In a dilapidated shack. There were large quantities of drunks, stoners and their respective vices. We decided to perform an experiment.

Test 1:
We looted our pockets. This provided us with a copious supply of bus tickets, receipts and general crap. We then gathered some straw from the floor and set to work. Our first joint was smallish, constructed from two bus tickets and a pile of straw. We decided to omit the roach as the others seemed to be using the straw for this very purpose. The end was burned slightly to disguise the straw.

Results:
For the first attack we approached Maffu, a stoner of our acquaintance. We handed him the makeshift spliff and watched as he took toke after toke, laughing our asses off. We could see by his expression that he wasn't enjoying it but he just kept on puffing. Science 1 - Stoners 0.

Test 2:
This was a big one. A whole big pile of receipts and tickets and stuff, with a thick straw core. Again we burned the end to disguise the dry grass.

Results:
We didn't even have to wait until we were finished for this one. Jonah approached us while we were rolling and asked for a go. Who were we to refuse? This one eventually got passed all the way around the campfire and smoked to the end. Science 2 - Stoners 0.

Test 3:
We got adventurous with this one. We tried all sorts of crap we found lying around the place with a twig for a strong centre.

Results:
A failure. The thing would barely light and it fell apart at every oppurtunity. Nobody fell for it. Science 2 - Stoners 1.

Test 4:
We reverted to the classic design. A medium-to-large joint with a straw centre and bus ticket skin. Nothing fancy.

Results:
A triumph. Roscoe took the joint and sat down next to a bunch of stoners while he sparked up. He then started coughing horribly and claiming that it was "really bad shit". They couldn't get enough of it. We couldn't have got that one back if we'd wanted to. Science 3 - Stoners 1.

Conclusion:
Stoners will indeed smoke anything.