Society for the prevention of Haikus

I don't understand.
What did haiku do to you?
Don't piss me off, man!

Those are not haikus
you're just counting syllables
Groundhog knows better

The truth of haiku--
They must be in an Eastern
Character-based tongue.

In Chinese haiku
Or even in Japanese;
Word is syllable.

In English haiku
Words are not one character;
They have syllables.

Therefore I must say
That English language haiku
Is not quite the same.

Worse yet the haiku
That spans phrases over more
Than one line. So bad.

Therefore I urge you
If you speak English language
Do not write haiku.

The best haiku
Written in English language
Was by a program:

Troupe of apes moving
Beside the sewage river...
How sad the morning!

Haikus must be saved
from blind men like stormhunter
They are fun to write

I like to node them
On a regular basis
It brings me much joy

Must you take away
My one reason for living
Haikus are my life