My wife and 16 year old daughter went to the mall this evening. On the way home they stopped at WalMart to buy an American flag. It was my wife's idea. Even though I'm a military veteran, we've never owned one. They were sold out.
My wife is an apolitical person. She was never caught up in the patriotism of the Gulf War, so it surprised me a bit. An hour or so later she mentioned a co-worker of hers; the co-worker has a half-dozen flags flying at home. The co-workers' husband is extremely patriotic, a police detective, and - according to my wife - an embarassing bigot.
Then she pulled out a computer printout of an old Canadian radio editorial, America: The Good Neighbor, the co-worker had given to her. I was familiar with it. It was all about how we Americans are great neighbors and how we've done so much for everyone. I understood where the sudden burst of patriotism came from.
I told her to go into the computer room and read the article up on the screen. It was, They can't see why they are hated1, an editorial from the English newspaper The Guardian. Then I had her read signed, confused in Wisconsin, a node I had written earlier in the day -- before I'd seen The Guardian piece.
She was angry. Not at me, but at the American news media. "Why don't they tell us these things?" She asked me. I told her it's worse than that, that virtually every country in south and central america has had a dictator or repressive government in the last 50 years that we've either put in place or supported. It's not just the muslims of the Middle East who hate us.
She wasn't very happy. She wasn't comfortable reading that material. Who can blame her? We'd much rather not know. I don't know what she'll say to her co-worker tomorrow, but I don't think she'll stop to buy a flag.
This disgusts me.
Did the Muslim community, especially those who came to North America to have a better life, plan this attack? NO. Some EXTREMIST group, which happens to be Muslim did. Yes, their motives may be what they thought/think is religious. Hitler thought what he was doing was religiously sound also. These people are not normal Muslims. They have twisted the words Koran to suit their purposes.
I hear that some Muslims, especially women, are fearful to leave their homes. This is terrible. Most of the Muslims in Canada and the U.S. are landed immigrants or citizens. Those that are citizens have the exact same rights as you and I, and it is ILLEGAL and IMMORAL to treat them this way. The landed immigrants may not have all the same rights, but human rights are universal, aren't they?
So lets think about this.... what if the terrorists were Christian? Would we (North Americans) be looking down our noses at Christians? NO. Why? Because Christianity is familiar to us. We understand Christianity, and it is the majority.
This event has become a tragedy in several respects. One of them is that it has magnified the ignorance and rasism in North America.
Do what you can to help your fellow Canadian or American Muslim, because they are as much a Canadian or American as you are. Do not condone this prejudice, and please educate yourself about the people who live around you. Ask a Muslim what he/she believes religiously, and chances are they will be glad to tell you.
This really concerns me because many, and in some areas, most of the murders are racially motivated. It would be a complete shame and disgrace to let these terrorists cause or augment racism in North America to the point of violence.
Inspired by Anthropology:
I have not been here a lot lately -- I quit coming around for a while when E2 was having technical problems. It is good to be back. and good to see some familiar noders.
A lot has happened since I was here last. I located my birth family in California, and learned a lot of facts about my birth and the circumstances surrounding it. I am, indeed, a bastard, a hippie love child. My mother suffered from manic depression all her life, and lost the battle some twenty years ago.m I do have a brother and a sister that I never knew about. Noone, not even Mom, knew the identity of my father, as far as I can tell.
But there is a man in California that I can call Dad. He was Mom's husband (estranged) at the time, the man she called for help when she learned she was pregnant. I already have one father that I am not biologically related to -- it is not much of a stretch to have two.
I was able to cry for the first time. When it seemed that there was no one to turn to. When it seemed that I was the only one in the world. When it seemed that that world was coming to an end. There was hope.
I haven't yet been able to write to the fullest, now perhaps I can. It seems that I still cannot grasp it all, cannot grasp it's reality. Thousands of people, it feels now as it felt on that day, it felt that one in ten people died that day. The loss, irreconcilable. Not a statistic as the addage goes, but each a loss that I feel in the places so close I cannot reach them. Beyond me. I cannot give an explanation, I believe that all things happen for good, this too, it must be, it has to be!, I see the good in people, the unity of the world, but the loss is beyond that. Am I inbalanced in my views? This truly has happened for good but why did it have to happen? I am a Christian, I have faith in the One True God, but even I cannot understand it. I know that He is in control but I would not know how to tell that to someone who is mourning. I live, I hope and I pray. This shadow someday will reveal a better sky beyond.
I'm tired of crying. I'm getting out of town this weekend, far away from CNN and the newspaper. Hate me for being selfish, but I cannot cry another night in front of the television. I cannot hear about another person's last cell phone call to a loved one moments before his or her plane struck its target. I cannot. I cannot hear another newscaster ask a frazzled rescue worker what it feels like to pull pieces of his brothers and sisters in service out of the dusty wreckage. I cannot watch another person thump their chest screaming for retribution as if this attack happened for no reason at all (see kto9's daylog above or read anything about Middle East history written from a non-American perspective.) I cannot risk being in front of the television when (God forbid, God forbid, please God forbid) the first praying Muslims are killed by a drive-by redneck with a Molotov cocktail. I fear I may go mad.
When I close my eyes I try to see blackness. I try to ignore their soreness. I try to squint away the distended capillaries. I try to resist the urge to crawl into bed and stay there until it is all over as if that were possible, as if there were enough days in the calendar. But I cannot do these things. I cannot so long as I am a person with warm blood flowing in my veins. The best I can do to salvage myself is go off, into the woods, and thank God that I can walk away for a while, that I am alive and my loved ones are safe, that I am free and able to seek the refuge of green trees and clean air, that I do not have to look out my window every day and see that dusty open sore in Manhattan or Washington or Pennsylvania. So that is my plan for the weekend. I'm sorry, but that is the way it has to be. I need to go into the wilderness and learn what it is mine to do, how I can be a light for those who are in the dark, how I can help. The television will be there on Monday for me to cry in front of.
If I don't find an English copy of Hesse's Siddhartha I am going to go insane (doh a google search just gave me the text whew)! I'm off to read. I'll be back later.
Everyplace was out except k-mart. All i could find there were some novelty flags. I got them anyway.
Even though I went through a quarter of a tank of gas, and came home with just $4 worth of novelty flags, i figure it was worth it. Im happy because at if these places were out, at least people are out there snapping them up. good old america.
I have a large flag collection at 'home' (pre-college home...) in Connecticut. Somewhere around 60 flags. Some novelty flags, some plastic. A lot of cloth ones. Two ones i really like (embroidered stars and everything), and one huge one thats 25 feet long.
I was in Connecticut on Saturday for a 'Jack & Jill Shower' for my cousin's wedding. I was going through old stuff, seeing what I could bring home (post-college home) toNew York. I came across the boxes of flags.. I went through it briefly looking for a 48-star flag (to hang over my collection of World War II books), but couldnt find one. I decided to leave the others there, since i figured "I've got no real need for a flag in NY"
Obviously, I've been proven wrong...
I really wish i had brought just one big one back up with me. I've got a nice picture window that i'd like to hang it in.
oh well.
Yoon got some wisdom teeth removed yesterday. This would normally be a pretty mundane happening but they gave her some painkillers. We're talking about a girl who refuses to take aspirin for a headache here. She called me hours before I was scheduled to end work and babbled all sorts of craziness at me. Its nice to hear someone who is normally so sensible and direct stray into lala land.
American flags are everywhere. Apparently some high school kids stormed into a mosque here in Denver and demanded that flags be displayed. This is fucking sick. I understand that people are very upset about losing loved ones but this whole big dick patriotism thing is insanity. I read a little editorial this morning about Indians in more traditional dress (turbans I guess) being attacked in public. I wonder how many people the patriots will have to injure or kill before they'll feel better.
The unfortunate side effect is all of this is that I'm becoming very impatient with flag wavers. I know some folks are merely showing support for the fallen but behind these gestures I imagine bared teeth. I'm sorry if you're someone I glared at. I've got my own shit going on too.
The time has come to ask myself the dreaded question: "Do I really have to work at work?" I hope all noders have a safe weekend. Please please please don't blame 250 million muslims for the actions of a few.
Two days ago we got together and I learn about this thing she had for me in high school. Apparently she went to great lengths to get me to go out with her, but I was unreceptive. Up until then, I had no idea. She told me that if things were different, we could be together at the present. However, she has a boyfriend, so things between us can't really change.
Last night she was talking to her boyfriend and she told me that she thought he was going to break up with her over the phone. This didn't hit me until this morning. I then realized that there was a small chance for me. All the feelings I had had in high school quickly rushed back to me.
That wasn't the case, instead it turns out everything was alright with the world. Her boyfriend wasn't breaking up with her. And like a leaking ballon, my happiness fell.
I sent a letter to my representatives today. It's the first time I've ever sent an actual paper letter. I guess it's the first time I was ever concerned enough to do so. Not to mention that it's much more effective than arguing with people on message boards and in the office, when it comes to making real change occur.
The text is as follows:
The Honorable Albert R. Wynn 434 Cannon House Office Building Washington, D.C. 20515-2004
Dear Representative Wynn: I am writing this letter to express my concerns with regard to our response to the attacks of September 11, 2001. As we pick up the pieces and move forward, there is a great temptation to overreact in such a way as to violate the very freedoms we hold so dear, or to further exacerbate a hatred of the United States that is so prevalent abroad. With that in mind, my specific concerns are listed below.
I believe the first thing we must do is reexamine our foreign policy positions in light of these attacks. The CIA was instrumental in training and funding Osama bin Laden in his previous role as an Afghan rebel during the Soviet occupation. We have been more than willing to fund rebels abroad, taking sides in conflicts we have no legitimate business being involved in. The bombing of the pharmaceutical factory in Sudan, the bombing of civilian targets in Serbia, and the funding of Colombian crackdowns on dissent are just a few examples of a foreign policy that has no respect for international law, or the ramifications of our actions. The recent attacks are horrible crimes, but were also an inevitable result of our willingness to make enemies abroad.
The second major concern I have is with the calls for restrictions on the freedoms and rights that we enjoy as Americans.
The Fourth Amendment to the Constitution protects citizens from warrantless searches, yet the FBI has recently been putting the "Carnivore" (renamed "DCS1000") system in place in ISPs across the country . To make matters even worse, it's come to my attention that the Senate has just yesterday passed the "Combating Terrorism Act of 2001", as a rider to the annual appropriations bill for the Departments of Commerce, Justice, and State Departments . What this law would do is allow any U.S. Attorney to have a wiretap or Carnivore system installed, without the need to obtain a warrant. This amendment was passed by a voice vote, which sends it for consideration to the conference committee, bypassing any floor debate or Senate accountability.
While I understand the desire of the Congress to do something in response to these horrible attacks, terrorist action is no justification for abrogating the rights guaranteed to us by the Constitution. Frankly, I find actions like this to be completely unacceptable, and I'm eager to hear what your response to this, and any other violations of our fundamental rights, will be.
My third, and final concern is with our nation's response to these attacks. I am eager for our government to find those responsible, and ensure that justice is done. It is important, however, that we not be drawn into a modern-day Vietnam, resulting in more innocent bloodshed, and playing into the hands of the terrorists. They would like nothing better than for us to react in kind, killing innocent people in our quest for revenge, and galvanizing sentiment in the Islamic world against us. We must be absolutely certain of who was responsible, and have a clear exit strategy to ensure that we do not get drawn into an ongoing cycle of violence.
We must also remember that Afghanistan is a land littered with landmines, whose people were crushed by the Soviet occupation and bloody war to expel them. They did not elect the Taliban, and should not be made to pay for the actions of their government. If and when we find those responsible, they should be made to pay, but if we make no distinction between them and the innocent, then we become that which we despise.
In the days and weeks to come, many decisions will have to be made by you and your colleagues that are directly related to the concerns I've mentioned in this letter. I hope that you will take my views into consideration when making these decisions, and feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the points I have made. I also look forward to hearing your views on these particular issues.
Yours truly,
johnnyx
Certainly a week unlike any other. And I don't write daylogs.
Beyond the abyss of September 11th, I begin to regain faith in the human spirit. People pulling together. More volunteers than can be put to work at the World Trade Center. More blood donors than anyone knows what to do with. 17.5 million in donations given by AOL users (almost makes me proud to be using them again).
Then everything begins to unravel. All I hear are lies. The Taliban brushes off accusations directed at Osama bin Laden because he doesn't have the communications network to pull something like this off. Then supposedly no one knows where he is. He evacuated his headquarters. Next thing I know, the Taliban reports they have confiscated his cell phone, satellite phone, fax machine, internet connection and probably his blender too. Hmmm, doesn't sound like this gentleman had any sort of ability to build a worldwide communication network.
Well, that isn't what really cheeses my steak tonight. It is the re-emergence of the ugly American after these days of solidarity and caring. Hate crimes, directed at Islamic Americans... people who are innocent Americans just like the rest of us. Okay, everyone has their collection of idiots who just don't get it. That cheeses my steak... but not as much as what else I learned today.
Profiteers. Modern day carpetbaggers. Worse. People and groups posing as charitable organizations raising money for the relief efforts. There have been numerous reports and I'm getting more. Part of the business I'm in, but that isn't important right now. People profiting off the pain and misery of others and from the generosity and caring of so many Americans. Scamming money and credit card information for their own purposes in the name of charity and giving... in the shadow of events that... well, there are no terms harsh enough in the English language to call them.
These people, my friends, are Americans. These people should not get away with it. They are in the same class of humanity as those who killed thousands on September 11th. I know you are out there... I'll be coming for you.
::phone rings::
me: "Dr. Peche?" Dr. Peche:"Anandi, hi, the lab results came back and it didn't go away, it is more pronounced now though. What we are going to have to do is have a biopsy to find out what is causing it." me:"So is it cancer?"
After talking to my dr. I went and looked up what they said I had. They call is dysplasia. It is sort of a pre-cancerous stage. They are cancerous cells but do not necessarily progress to cancer. It all depends on the biopsy what happens I guess.
I don't feel sick. But I guess I am. Or something. It has been a very strange week. To say the very least. I was always paranoid about going to the doctor and thinking I had all these diseases and making myself go crazy. And now they told me something is really wrong, and I don't feel any different than before. I mean I guess it won't really hit me until I get really sick, or if I get really sick.
UPDATE: 9-26-01 Well last Friday I got a second glance at what its like to be really truly scared again. The biopsy was pretty scary. Not that it was painful, although afterwards I was cringing in pain for a good hour or so, it was just the fact that all this was real and I hadn't really wanted to believe it yet. The doctor said it could be a few things, perhaps a virus or real dysplasia. I don't think it would be a virus because it would have to be a sexual transmitted one and considering that I have only been with one guy I don't think its a virus. Of course if it is then I am assuming he got it from some other chick running around out there and I'd be pissed for many different reasons. However, giving him the benefit of the doubt I'm coming to realize that it probably is a mild to moderate, or even severe, dysplasia. And in the midst of all this I'm entering my hardest semester of physics so far and all I do is stress and do homework and study and stress some more. To say the least this semester is going to be the most stressful one yet. Welcome to the real world I suppose.
UPDATE:
I prayed for wisdom for our leaders--that they not make rash decisions. I prayed that we learn to see the humanity in our attackers, and that they see our humanity as well. Our leaders have called this a battle between good and evil. I prayed that our leaders understand that from our attackers point of view, we are the purveyors of evil, and they are fighting for god's will. I live in a world of possibilities, so I was surprised, but not shocked. I am just a man in all equality with my brothers and sisters of the world, and who am I to say who may live and who may die? In all equality, who are they to say either? our noses have been bloodied before, and we have stopped the bullies who have delivered the punch. This time our noses are bloody, and our faces battered black and blue. Our leaders have vowed to stop the whole gang that would wish to hurt us over and over. We have the right to protect ourselves, and punishing those who have proven they wish us harm is justifiable. I pray for our warriors safety, and thank them in advance.
I prayed for myself, and the safety of my direct relations. I have friends and family traveling abroad. I asked that their journeys return them safely home. I prayed that the heavy burden of sorrow be lifted from my heart.
For the survivors and their families, I prayed that they find peace, that they remember those lost with love, and that they are not haunted by this long into the future.
This is not a time for hatred. This is a time for understanding. This is not a time for rash decisions. This is a time for clear and decisive action. Protecting ourselves and perhaps the world from terrorism is necessary and unfortunately that means putting our military in harms way. Let us keep the safety of our warriors in mind as this tragedy continues to evolve.
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