Santa Claus DM

• You feel that 3,000 GP and a Sword of Vorpal Weapon is an appropriate reward for killing two kobolds
• You let players reroll their character's attributes until they're all 14 or higher.
• "Saving throw? What's that?"
• You allow a fifth level thief to take over the City of Greyhawk.
• A party of three in your campaign can make short work of a green dragon (which has less treasure than the aforementioned kobolds)
• You continuously reroll the check for secret doors because you've put some cool stuff behind one and don't want the characters to miss it.
• "Encumbrance? Huh?"
• You don't see any problem with the paladin's "shoot first, ask questions later" mentality, or the fact that he keeps walking up to random women in the local town, shouting "Whore!", and then punching them in the face.
• 1000000 Hit Points and Maximum Charisma!

2 bored warriors, a thief, and a mage are casually making camp in a large clearing very close to the Orc stronghold. The orcs notice the amazingly large and obvious bon-fire and decide to go slay the folks camped on their doorstep. So they come out in a drove of roughly 2 million.

One bored warrior goes, "Oh boy--let's kick some ass!"

The other puts his armor on, pokes his esquire to hand him a 9-iron Mace of Cuthbert (he has 14 such maces and needed to differentiate between them), and pops a piece of chewing gum in and gnashes it with his full set of the Teeth of Dalvernar.

The thief hops upon a Tensors Floating Disc, takes two Decanters of Endless Water, switches them into full-blast firehose mode, and races off above the orcs heads (using the decanters as a method of propulsion), showering them with intense streams of water.

The mage pulls out a Ring of Wishing from his Bag of Holding and wishes there were twice as many orcs (otherwise, he won't get to have any fun...). He then pulls out a Lute of Satriani and starts playing some funky death metal music (which corresponds to casting a Fire Storm spell or three).

Warrior number 1 wields a Holy Avenger in each hand (he's got a Girdle of Giant Strength, so he can do stuff like that). And just starts hacking and slaying. The orcs are bouncing off his armor which was taken from some high-powered dead Lich a few days ago.

Warrior number 2 tees up with his Mace of Cuthbert, and starts slamming some heads with some intensely long drives that even Happy Gilmore could appreciate.

The thief, now positioned over a huge pack of orcs, dons his radiation suit and releases a pocket-sized thermo-nuclear device (+10 against raging orcs) essentially wiping out a million orcs or so.

The mage, not to be outdone by the thief, dons his Cloak of Protection and thinks about which cool thing to do next. The Rod of Seven Parts?... Cast a big spell?... Mmmm... Then he starts playing solitaire with a Deck of Many Things figuring most of the orcs are dead now anyhow. Because of his pact with one of the major deities of the world, he is unaffected by most of the "bad cards".

Battle goes on like this for about 6 more minutes.... So on so forth....