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Ruminations on a childhood lost to expectations
created by
KenFoldsFive
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KenFoldsFive
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Mon May 14 2001 at 0:39:30
I was walking along some old
abandoned
railroad tracks
about a month or so ago. The sky looked
threatening
but in the end it only produced a
gusty wind
. I came to a
bridge
on the tracks, and as I looked down at the
supports
whilst I was walking across, I noted a large amount of
spray paint
adorned them. There wasn't your standard "
gangsta
"
tagging
with the words of
hate
mixed with
cryptic
acronyms
: rather, there were
memoirs
. Little notes like "Bobby
loves
Suzie"; a line trumping a now-
defunct
death metal
radio station
as the greatest radio station of all time. I got the strangest
feeling
as I walked along the tracks that day. It was as though I was walking
backwards
in time viewing excerpts of another person's life like a silent
voyeur
.
All of that got me thinking about
my own life
;
Moreover
, how little of it I've actually
lived in
. It seems to me that the
majority
of my life has been spent thinking about how my life should be, or how my life will be, or what will be coming to me in 5 or 10 years that will finally make me
happy
.
In the mean time
I have been
ignoring
the very
facets
of my life that make it a happy
existence
. The very things that
define
me later in life.
I can't help but think that if a person were to walk along the trestle of my own life each trestle would simply read "see next trestle" until the bridge
ended
with no words of meaning ever written.
printable version
chaos
My regret sits on the floor like someone else's polaroid photos
One velvet portrait of you
In a sinking ship, under tons of sand
death metal
Childhood vaccines
Misplaced Childhood
railroad tracks
The wrong daughter
A house remembered
Trestle
feeling
Defying the gravity of the situation
Situational Irony
When you whisper to a dog, sometimes it whispers back
old soul
Time flies when you're having fun
My biological clock is not ticking, dammit!
Withdraw yourself from the situation
Tito Jackson
Ghost Train
load average
end
define
existence
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