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Ruminations on a childhood lost to expectations

created by KenFoldsFive

(idea) by KenFoldsFive (3 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Mon May 14 2001 at 0:39:30

I was walking along some old abandoned railroad tracks about a month or so ago. The sky looked threatening but in the end it only produced a gusty wind. I came to a bridge on the tracks, and as I looked down at the supports whilst I was walking across, I noted a large amount of spray paint adorned them. There wasn't your standard "gangsta" tagging with the words of hate mixed with cryptic acronyms: rather, there were memoirs. Little notes like "Bobby loves Suzie"; a line trumping a now-defunct death metal radio station as the greatest radio station of all time. I got the strangest feeling as I walked along the tracks that day. It was as though I was walking backwards in time viewing excerpts of another person's life like a silent voyeur.

All of that got me thinking about my own life; Moreover, how little of it I've actually lived in. It seems to me that the majority of my life has been spent thinking about how my life should be, or how my life will be, or what will be coming to me in 5 or 10 years that will finally make me happy. In the mean time I have been ignoring the very facets of my life that make it a happy existence. The very things that define me later in life.

I can't help but think that if a person were to walk along the trestle of my own life each trestle would simply read "see next trestle" until the bridge ended with no words of meaning ever written.

printable version
chaos

My regret sits on the floor like someone else's polaroid photos One velvet portrait of you In a sinking ship, under tons of sand death metal
Childhood vaccines Misplaced Childhood railroad tracks The wrong daughter
A house remembered Trestle feeling Defying the gravity of the situation
Situational Irony When you whisper to a dog, sometimes it whispers back old soul Time flies when you're having fun
My biological clock is not ticking, dammit! Withdraw yourself from the situation Tito Jackson Ghost Train
load average end define existence
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