Rolling machine

A.K.A. 'The most amazing thing in the world (TM)'.

So I was sitting there, chillin with a few people in my bedroom and suddenly my best mate EJ goes "Oh, hey, I got you something", and whips out this little metal box, about 4 1/2 inches square, 3/4" high. Fighting the urge to yell "He's got a bomb !" and leap behind the bed, I ask him what it is. He explains and later demonstrates that its a Rolling Machine.

The box hinges open along one side to reveal a strip of thickish material, one end of which is attached to a roller which slides along the length of the box when the lid is opened or closed; this means that when the box is closed the strip is doubled over and when the box is open, it is almost fully unrolled, with a just little dip at the bottom.

I went to the local mystic bullshit shop and bought a Rizla brand rolling machine.

What a waste of money! If you ever need a device to produce supercompacted bricks of tobacco, then buy one of these.

You get the idea!

I'll just stick with my hand rolled. It looks cooler anyway, and nothing's as portable as my own hands.

Rolling Machine Primer

Introduction

So, how do I use it?

1. Load the machine - open the rollers, tuck the plastic belt down between the rollers, and fill the resulting trough with the goods.
2. Roll the core of the joint - close the machine and, either using just your thumbs or your thumbs and forefingers, roll the rollers toward yourself until the plastic belt makes ¼ - 1 full rotation around the spindles, depending on the density and amount of substance you packed in.
3. Roll the paper around the core - with the machine still closed, put your rolling paper in between the rollers, glue edge at the top and facing you. Roll the paper into the machine (using thumbs and forefingers, rolling toward yourself) until the gummed edge is almost in the machine, whereupon you lick it and then roll it in, too.

How to roll a perfect joint every time

• Use the right amount of weed and/or tobacco - if you use too much, the joint will roll too tightly and will be hard to smoke. If you use too little, you'll get a sorry, skinny little joint that will cause you shame and embarrassment. You know you're using too much if the rollers are hard to close or exceptionally hard to turn.
• Roll the belt and spindles evenly - if you place your thumbs flatly across the tops of both rollers and pull down (towards yourself) in short, even strokes, you'll have the best results.
• Pinch the rollers together when rolling in the paper - this helps the plastic belt grab the little bugger and pull it through.
• A perfectly rolled joint will be about the diameter of a commercial filtered cigarette, maybe bigger, and should be somewhat springy if you squeeze it, like a commercial cigarette. It should smoke slowly and evenly, and should provide an easy draw.