Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Robbie Williams

created by fondue

(person) by fondue (1.9 hr) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 3 C!s Sat Nov 13 1999 at 9:50:46

Robbie Williams is the bad boy of pop. If by "bad" you mean "shite". Possibly the most pitiful, shallow, boorish, talentless waste of simian DNA ever to blight the face of the Earth. His no-stars brand of plodding pub-rock generica is accompanied by "jaunty!!!" lyrics that could make a petrified corpse cringe. He persistently bumbles his way through a series of literally nauseating videos dancing like a pissed uncle at a wedding and contorting his dog-like face into a consummately punchable smirk. An educationally subnormal chimp in a tuxedo could evoke more poise and 007-stylishness than this goofy fucksponge.

Recently he - or rather some faceless Sony Music exec - has attempted to inject an element of "street" into his songs by having him attempt to rap. The resulting aural travesties fall somewhere between Chas 'n' Dave and Ant 'n' Dec, if either party had been lobotomised beforehand and was deliberately attempting to write non-rhyming lines. Just another reason, if one were needed, why Take That should have been sealed in a lead bunker under the Atlantic. He rightly bombed in America.

Oh and in case the jury's still out, this inbred corporate stooge actually supports the RIAA. Coke screws you up kids. Robbie Williams is the man for whom the phrase "first against the wall when the revolution comes" was coined.


Robbie Williams exists for one reason alone. To make a record company money. There is no entertainment value inherent in his work. It is artless, soulless, and glorifies inanity and ignorance. Worse than any of this though, it is actually profoundly, skin-crawlingly, cuticle-tearingly, eye-gougingly irritating to listen to. Not only is it bad, it insults and degrades the self respect of the listener.

printable version
chaos

Take That The Marty McKolskey Incident The Corrs RIAA
Liam Gallagher Kylie Minogue Oasis Craig David
All Saints shite stud How video game music is created
Vocoder Freudian slips at the ice skating rink Swing when you're winning Tom Jones
The Boy Band Conspiracy Californication Robin Williams Better Man
intercourse The Microsoft Sound Asian fads Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Just another sprinkling of indeterminacy
patriotism
Deus Ex
Toby lied
Thirteenth Step
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle
down in the quarry there is no noise
gongfu cha
Uh, are you looking at my joystick to impress her, or are you just an asshole?
Crimping Cat-5
Welcome to Spectre
Dawn French
Cigarettes are quasi-community property
hydrogen bond
New Writeups
Pavlovna
toy boy(person)
XWiz
tear jerker(review)
Heitah
Anarchy is Order(idea)
jessicaj
July 26, 2008(dream)
Berek
ABBA(person)
devolution
k-hole(place)
Nadine_2
The Sound Of Madness(review)
Twin Eclipse
Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue(idea)
SwimmingMonkey
Conversations with Fo Fo- the Loneliest dog in Purgatory(fiction)
locke baron
lynx(thing)
Simulacron3
Reality, Dimensions and the Natural Ontology(essay)
SubSane
Making Love to a 9-Foot Woman(person)
Ouzo
Thoughts(idea)
antigravpussy
I fall silent, listening. The breadcrumbs are talking about us(person)
calgon
Buffalo Bill by the pool(poetry)
Everything 2 is brought to you by the letter C and The Everything Development Company