Rite of Saturday Night

Most people wonder why I don't go out on Saturday night. Most of the time, I've been too poor to deal with going out alone at a time when the drink prices are jacked to their maximum, the clubs are full of out-of-towners, and it's almost impossible to get a cab. The times I've been, I've been disappointed, and slightly depressed by the fact that I've spent $50 for getting jostled, not being able to dance (too many purses on the dance floor, too many people swaying around with bottles of beer and cigarettes in their hands, to feel loose) and walking around with a watery drink while getting my ears blasted.

This doesn't mean that I don't like Saturday Night....I stay home. This is what I do.

First, I like to think of Saturday, in general, as being spiritual, in the Aleister Crowley sense, that is, a good time to think about the Divine in its darker form. (My apologies to any Jews who might be reading this, this is my faith, and I'm writing about it.) So, Saturday is a day when I actively seek out my darkest, deepest, most embarrassing urges...and act on them. It could be anything..shopping at a sleazy store, listening to music I should have outgrown years ago (mostly heavy rock and heavy metal), playing video games, etc.

So here's the Rite of Saturday Night.
There are three acts:
Eating
Bathing & Smells
Entertainment

Eating:
Appetizer: Chex Mix (Bold Party Blend)
V-8 with Worchestershire Sauce, Tobasco, etc.
Main Course: Steak with Steak Relish, Mushrooms, and A-1
Corn-on-the-Cob
Relish Salad, or Tossed with Vinaigrette
Dessert: Watermelon or Chocolate Ice Cream
Drinks: Gallo Hearty Burgandy, Fruit Drink, Diet Coke (Yup. All three. It's a long night.)

Bathing and Smells: Experimentation has led me to the conclusion that what's needed here are strong, obnoxious (but pleasurable) aromas. Imitation strawberry scent is the essence of sleaze. So I use strawberry bubblebath. To fumigate the place, I use sandalwood incense, for its 70's mystic-manque factor, and anoint myself with patchouli. This makes me feel like Anita Pallenburg concocting a spell. Then, I slip into indigo silk pyjamas.

Entertainment: Our local Clear Cast Network station has a marvellously retro 70's/80's mix that just doesn't quit. Quake is the default video game, with Jazz Jackrabbit 2 a close second. Failing that, I IRC, play BBS door games, or find something absorbing to do on the computer. (Somehow, coding doesn't seem that bad if you're doing it like this.) Or I read from Harry Potter, Michael Moorcock, or something similar. Drugs are contraindicated, other than hemp...too distracting!

Improvements: I'd like to find the right witchy soft lounge outfit for this...maybe a widow's kimono. Maybe some more toys. I'd love some blacklight or other strange lighting for the office...

Gee, it's Sunday morning already!