Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Reaction: letting others control you
created by
stienman
(
idea
) by
stienman
(3.1 mon)
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Mon Jan 15 2001 at 19:30:20
Reaction
(
noun
): the
result
of an
action
which has a
specific
,
identifiable
cause
.
To
act
is to
control
yourself according to your
desires
/
dictates
/
values
/etc.
To
react
is to act according to
external
stimulus
, often in a way which may be against what your act would be were you not stimulated.
When someone does something to
get your goat
, you may choose to act or react. By choosing to act you are keeping control of
yourself
,
emotion
ally,
physically
, etc. You are determining your
response
, if any, and doing so in a wise manner which will allow you to continue to act rather than react.
If, in the same situation, you react, you are essentially allowing the
person
goading
you to
control your actions
.
Take any one of the tens of thousands of
emotionally charged nodes on e2
. Read the
statements
. Are these people acting in a way which shows they are in control of themselves, or are they instead reacting to the original post, the title of the node, or to each other?
Often people
goad
others not to see 'how far they can be
pushed
', but instead to
exert
control over the individual they are goading. This can be very
self gratifying
for those who have
low self esteem
themselves, but know how to push peoples buttons. While their values may be
skewed
, they are acting rather than reacting (at least initially).
What can you do? Well, there are many good
practical
ways to avoid reacting and start acting (such as count to ten when upset, controlling anger, etc),
the root of the problem
lies in your
perception
of what the other person is doing or is trying to
communicate
. If they are trying to
upset
you - realize what it is they are doing and
ignore inflamatory comments
. You know they are trying to goad you, so why let them control you? Their
statements
are
false
shells
which are intended to upset you, not to communicate with you. Perhaps they don't realize what they're doing. You can start by telling them that their
communication
patterns
are
aggravating
for you - this is acting, instead of reacting.
This is one of the
tenets of business communcation
.
printable version
chaos
mind control
Reaction
Red Alert
Middle Voice
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