Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible.
I have a friend. Let's call him John. Now, it just so happens that one day in late 2002, John told me a tale I was hard pressed to believe. It went something like this:
John:
I know this guy who works as a prop maker for movies, and he worked on The Matrix.
BlakJak:
Really? Cool.
J:
Oh, wait. It gets better. You know when Neo wakes up in the real world, and he's sitting in that pod full of red goo?
BJ:
Yeah, in the powerplant. I love that scene.
J:
This guy built the pod!
BJ:(genuinely impressed)
Sweet!
J:(now with an ever-expanding grin on his face)
Yeah, that's pretty much what I said to him. And you know what he said back? Wait for it, he said "Yeah. It's in my backyard. D'you want it?"
Instead, only try to realise the truth.
Now, as my friend John isn't the kind of guy who's given to bullshitting others, I hesitantly took his word for it. After I carefully rehinged my jaw, I said something the effect of "<splutter> <cough> <boggle> You've got to be fucking kidding!". He told me that the only catch was that if he wanted The Pod, he had to go and get it himself ... from Port Macquarie.
A 1400 km round trip with a trailer is not an undertaking to be sneezed at, but John was undeterred. He had a fine adventure involving a strip club, stained glass windows and a bushfire, but got The Pod safely home. On hearing the news, I asked John if I could pay homage to this worthy artifact, but he said I would have to wait for the proper time - a great party to be held in The Pod's honour. I understand the importance of due ceremony as much as the next man, and so I was forced to curb my curiosity for the moment.
There is no spoon.
The Pod Party finally happened on May 2, 2003 at a nice big property outside of Queanbeyan, and I swear I've never seen so many people wearing long black coats and sunglasses (at night) in one place before. Some had made their pilgrimage from as far away as Brisbane. We had bonfires. We had the movie playing on the TV, the soundtrack on the stereo, an enormous poster of the usual gang of idiots. On that night, The Matrix was more than a film - it was a subculture.
The Pod was concealed under a large black cloth until John was ready to unveil it. On arrival, guests were given a Jaffa, for lack of a better red pill. And when the movie got to the moment when Neo opened his eyes for the first time, the cloth was flung back to a spontaneous round of applause. We all crowded around to get a better look, and to have our turn to lie in The Pod.
Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
You could say that we were a sad bunch of obsessed twits worshipping a perspex blob with some steel struts. And you'd be right. From a certain point of view. But we didn't give a damn.
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