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Playing Chicken With SUVs
created by
pdraleigh
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pdraleigh
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Thu Aug 03 2000 at 16:01:00
The
suburb
I live in is pretty old, so we have many
street
s that aren't very wide. This problem is
aggravate
d by the fact that most people who live on these streets
park
in them, taking a thin 2 lane down to a wide 1 lane. My city is also the home of the
Ford Motor Company
, so our roads are flooded with
Excursion
s,
Expedition
s,
Explorer
s,
Navigator
s,
Mountaineer
s, and the soon to be released
Lincoln
Blackwood
s and Ford
Escape
s. Two
normal
vehicle
s can still pass each other on these aforementioned lanes, albeit tightly, but when you throw an
SUV
in the mix, no passing, someone has to back up.
I drive a rather small car, no match for an SUV of any size, let alone the house-sized Excursion, so I have to keep my wits about me when I come to a situation like this. Here I will tell you how to play
chicken
with an SUV and win:
1) Always look the other
drive
r in the
eyes
. If you're a
young male
this works really well because any one over thirty has a fear of youth, especially since our
generation
seems to be one of the most
violent
yet. 2) Make it clear that you're staying right where you are by shaking your head or waving your arms. 3) Drive as far as you possibly can once the other driver has stopped. This will bring you from a point where it was easy for you to back up to a point where reversing is not an option (
theoretically
).
Keep in mind a head-on
collision
will
kill
you if you're going over 30mph and not driving a tank, so avoid charging. Also try not to yell, this could lead to a
beating
on someone's part, and then it won't really matter who backs up.
I hope this helps everybody who is sick of
asshole
s in SUVs playing king of the road. Remember: A man who drives an SUV and has no need for the extra room or the elevated ground
clearance
is probably a filthy
commie
.
printable version
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