Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

Phantom boyfriend

created by lillianvalencia

(thing) by lillianvalencia (9.8 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Sep 26 2000 at 0:04:00

Product Design: The new, the improved--

Phantom boyfriend!
Yes, you too can own this new model,
At no additional cost!!
Simply:
Place significant other under heavy workload,
Extend communication to once every other day,
lather, rinse, repeat!
Under correct conditions,
The boyfriend/girlfriend status is secure,
But now you are free to run around, act crazy, and bounce off the walls at your own free will!
Live your life, follow your dreams, promote your independence!
And yet, you're still able to tell those losers you meet at the bar that you're not single...
(Product warning: Please do not try this at home. Phantom boyfriend is for entertainment purposes only.
Failure to comply may result in significant heartache, loss of sexual interaction, and shortness of breath.
Opinions expressed by noder do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Everything2.)

printable version
chaos

imaginary girlfriend Do not have sex with horses. Seriously, don't. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
sexual goddess Sex with plants lather, rinse, repeat The creepy Inglis billboard in Toronto
No soup for you Winning back your girlfriend What to do with those annoying random instant messages Editorial opinions expressed by the Richmond Times-Dispatch
Anyone with a strong opinion is wrong Warning Labels workload boyfriend
Rage Against The Machine FreeBSD Cognizance I'm on drugs
Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator She approached me with some vague line Invisible Man Adbusters
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Things you could have written:
The two most common things to be found on the back of a sci-fi/fantasy novel
Consumer Broadband and Digital Television Promotion Act
So it goes
Shall I Compare Thee to a Dead Portuguese Man-of-War Lying Bloated on a Polluted Beach?
A.J. Liebling
Webster 1913 is a fake
Codex Seraphinianus
torch singer
156/98
Germany
The International Tribunal on Crimes Against Women
love conquers all **
Periodic Table of the Elements
New Writeups
gate
Anarchy is Order(idea)
ushdfgakjasgh
Scribeling(thing)
XWiz
Trism(review)
artman2003
Briefcase Full of Souls - Part I(fiction)
Dreamvirus
Alan Ladd(person)
waverider37
Harold Holt(person)
The Debutante
Until death do us part(fiction)
Ysardo
a brother to a sister(personal)
antigravpussy
your warm whispers(personal)
Clarke
Multiculturalism(idea)
aneurin
Earl of Landaff(person)
Heitah
Pseudocide(idea)
XWiz
Google Knol(lede)
Mythi
July 24, 2008(personal)
locke baron
The fall of Earth(fiction)
E2 is a by-product of the existence of The Everything Development Company