| This is a variation on the Turing Test for artificial intelligence. The idea is to learn just enough Chinese (let's say Cantonese for the sake of argument) so that you can fool anyone within that tiny environment into believing that you are a native speaker. Even with this limited scope you would still require a pretty large vocabulary (both food related and non-food related) if you want to pull this off. Similarly, your pronunciation, cultural references and table manners should also be flawless.
Quite the mindfuck, eh? Just imagine, you could be the scourge of Chinese Waiters everywhere!
With a bit of effort you could even expand your repetoire enough to fool people in other languages and other venues: Perfect Museum French, Perfect Beach Italian, Perfect Shepherder Greek.
In the time it would take you to learn one language really well, you could probably learn 6 or 8 of the lite versions described above! | 
