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Paul II
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Wed May 30 2001 at 16:58:12
Pope
Paul II
(served
1464
-
1471
)
"
I'm too sexy
for my
chasuble
, I'm too sexy for my chasuble..."
Much of what we know of Paul's racy life comes from the work of papal biographer and
humanist
Bartolomeo Sacchi
, who wrote under the pen name "
Plantina
". Sacchi was an enemy of Pope Paul II, who had Sacchi imprisoned twice. So just keep that in mind when you read this, m'kay?
Born Pietro Barbo in
1417
to a rich
Venetian
merchant family, he studied for a career in the family business, but when his uncle became Pope
Eugene IV
, young Barbo, no dummy, switched vocations and entered the priesthood. In short order, he became in succession
Archdeacon
of
Bologna
,
Bishop
of
Cervia
, Bishop of
Vicenza
, and a
cardinal deacon
at the young age of 23. He held much influence under his uncle and his uncle's successors,
Nicolas V
and
Calixtus III
, but it waned under
Pius II
. But at age 45, Barbo became Paul II because many cardinals were unhappy with Pius II and his policies.
During his reign, he granted the privilege of wearing the red
biretta
to all the
cardinal
s, suppressed assorted
heretic
s, and sent financial aid to
Hungary
and the
Albania
n warlord
Skanderbeg
to fight off the
Turks
. He also encouraged universities and printing, installing
Rome
's first printing shop, and collected ancient art. Perhaps his most controversial move was his
1466
suppression of the
college of abbreviators
. This gained Paul many enemies, including Sacchi, an
Apostolic Abbreviator
appointed by
Pio II
, whose snippy letter to the Pope prompted his first four month prison term. The second time was for his participation in the
Roman Academy
's conspiracy against Paul. The Academy was also suppressed by the Pope.
Handsome and vain, Paul II wanted to be named Pope
Formosus
(
Latin
for "beautiful" or "handsome"), but he was persuaded to adopt the more humble name of Paul. He took to wearing the jeweled papal tiara in public and private. He spent freely and extravagantly, putting levies on
Jews
when he needed cash. He put on lavish carnivals and plays and bought countless clothes, jewels, and furniture. No doubt he was
Martin Luther
's favorite Pope.
Paul also enjoyed the company of handsome young boys, and he easily wept when slighted by one of them, so much so that his cardinals took to calling him "Our Lady of Pity," but presumably not to his face. Officially, he died of a
stroke
after eating too many
melon
s (?!) but Sacchi's account claimed that Paul had a
heart attack
while being
sodomized
by his favorite companion.
Sources:
The Catholic Encyclopedia
(http://www.newadvent.org);
Charles Panati
,
Sexy Origins and Intimate Things
; Archaeological Civic Museum - Antiquarium Platina (http://www.museo-piadena.net)
printable version
chaos
Urban VII
Abbreviators
Doge
Dagobert II
Skanderbeg
Sonny Liston
Alfred Krupp
Cadaver Synod
John Paul I
The Catholic Encyclopedia
Holy Effrontery
Formosus
pope
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