Onion rings

If you ain't had a good batch of homemade - do not get those provided by food services - onion rings (sliced onions, battered and fried in some hot grease), you are not really what you could call "living."

These are often served in the South with the hubcap hamburger. You probably won't be able to stomach that whole thing, but you could sit there and eat them onion rings with a little smile on yore purty little face. Couldn't you? (Ketchup suggested.)

While you can make onion rings from any variety of onion, the restaurant and food industry prefers to use short day varieties developed for their single center, thick rings, sweeter flavor, and lower pungency.

And now, my mother's recipe for THE BEST ONION RINGS EVER. Because you need to know.

Ingredients:

• vegetable oil
• all-purpose flour
• beer
• salt
• black pepper
• yellow onions
• milk
• eggs
• crushed red pepper

Directions:

1. While you're cutting your onions into rings (about 1/4th inch thick), crack open a beer. Between drinks, separate the layers of onion to make more rings.
   
   
2. In a bowl, mix about 2 cups milk and an egg or 2. Whisk it all together.
   
   
3. In a plastic bag, dump a few cups of flour.
   
   
4. In another plastic bag, add about a cup of flour, a cup of beer, salt, pepper, crushed red pepper, and any other seasonings you like (garlic, onion powder, mustard or tabasco...). Mix 'em up to taste.
   
   
5. Get out your deepest frying pan, skillet, or fry daddy and heat the vegetable oil at 350°-375° F. It's gonna take a few minutes to heat, so take a swig and relax.
   
   
6. Here's the idea: first we dip the rings in flour, then in the egg/milk mixture, then in batter. You can even close the onions in the plastic bag and shake the toppings on, like shake'n bake. Got it? Each layer should thoroughly coat the rings. You might even let them sit for a minute to soak it all in.
   
   
7. Carefully place the battered rings into the pan, frying them to a golden brown. You'll know they're done when they start to "float" in the oil. (about 5 minutes)
   
   
8. Drain the oil from the onion rings and set them to cool.

Onion rings go great with ketchup, horseradish, mustard, and tartar sauce. Try them with your next catfish meal, a big hamburger, or whenever you're in the mood for something greasy and fattening.