Reposted by request
"Hello, I am an obsessive, humorless noder, you killed my writeup, prepare to die."
And in reply, EDB did a genuinely remarkable and unexpected thing: he tuned and ran.
I was so startled by EDB's cowardice that for a moment I simply stood there. Then I gave chase and, of course, I was faster, but EDB made it through the doorway, slammed and locked it, and I was helpless to budge the thing.
"TheFezzik," I called out desperately, "TheFezzik, break it down!"
...TheFezzik broke down the door, and I gave chase...
I had no way of knowing that EDB had a Florinese dagger. Or that he was expert with the thing. I finally cornered EDB in the billiard room. "Hello," I was about to say, "I am an obsessive, humorless noder, you killed my writeup, prepare to die" What I actually got out was "hello, I am an obsess--"
And then the dagger rearranged my insides. The force of the throw sent me staggering backwards into the wall. The rush of blood weakened me so quickly I could not keep my feet. "Nate, Nate," I whispered, and then I was lost on my knees...
EDB heard the words but nothing really connected until s/he saw the sword still held in my hand.
You're that little acolyte brat I taught a lesson to," he said, coming closer now, examining my scars. "It's simply incredible. Have you been chasing me all these years only to fail now? I think that's the worst thing I ever heard of; how marvelous."
I could say nothing. The blood fauceted from my stomach.
EDB drew his sword.
"...Sorry, Father... I'm sorry..."
But in those last moments, my fathers voice came to me... 'I don't want your "sorry"! My name is Domingo Montoya and I died for that sword, and you can keep your "sorry." If you were going to fail, why didn't you die years ago and let me rest in peace?'
And then MacPherson after me too-- "Seers! I never should have tried to teach a Seer; they're dumb, they forget. What do you do with the wound? How many times did I teach you--What do you do with the wound?"
"Cover it..." I said and pulled the knife from my body and stuffed my left fist into the bleeding wound.
My eyes began to focus again, not well, not perfectly, but enough to see EDB's blade as it approached my heart, and I
couldn't do much with the attack, vaguely, and pushed the point of the blade into my left shoulder where it did no unendurable harm.
EDB was a bit surprised that his point had been deflected, but there was nothing wrong with piercing a helpless man's shoulder. There was no hurry when you had him.
McPherson was screaming again-- "Seers! Give me a Archivist anytime; at least the Archivists remember to use the wall when they have one; only the Seers would forget to use a wall--"
Slowly, inch by inch I forced my body up the wall, using my legs for pushing, letting the wall do all the supporting that was necessary.
EDB struck again, but for any number of reasons, most probably because he hadn't expected my movement, he missed the heart and had to be content with driving the blade through my left arm.
I didn't mind. I didn't feel it. My right arm was where my interests lay, and I squeezed the handle and there was enough strength in his hand, enough to flick out at the enemy, and EDB hadn't expected that either, so he gave a little involuntary growl and took a step back to reassess the situation.
Power was flowing up from my heart to my right shoulder and down from my shoulder to my fingers and then to the great
six-fingered sword and I pushed off from the wall then, with a whispered, "...hello...I am an...obsessive, humorless noder; you killed...my node; prepare to die."
And we crossed swords.
For the rest of the story, Read The Princess Bride
(The book is better than the node)
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