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My cat may be the anti-Christ... what else is new?

created by Snargly

(idea) by Snargly (4.8 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) Tue Sep 18 2001 at 14:35:53

It's become harder and harder for me to sleep at night knowing that my cat isn't exactly normal. She'll sit there at the bottom of my bed every night, "sleeping" until she gets her fill, then she'll disappear from my room in some unknown fashion. Maybe my bedroom door opens at her command, or maybe she'll hide until I wake up in the morning; I don't know, I've never found any trace of her.

Of course, this goes way beyond her disappearing acts. People have come over to my house, and reported strange things. I once had a friend come over and claim that she threatened to swallow his soul. Now, if there's one thing you don't do, it's come over to a guy's house and spread blasphemous rumors about his cat. I did nothing but scold the bastard and tell him to leave my cat alone. It wasn't until one morning I was downstairs in the kitchen, eating my Cap'n Crunch with my normal cup of tea that I began to notice her strange habits.

"Viva la France!"

"What was that, Fluffy?"

"Nothing... I mean... err... Meow!"

I like to think my that cat and I have a good relationship. I mean, we do a lot together. Whether I'm watching TV, reading a book, or making supper, she's always around. With all the time we spend together, I can't imagine why it took me so long to notice there was anything wrong.

This leaves me wondering, where did we mess up? Did my father abuse the cat too much as a kitten? Has all that horrible cat food we feed her gone straight to her brain? Or is my cat actually possessed by Satan himself? I guess for the time being it doesn't really matter. All I can do is try and live with her, hoping that everyday I will wake up with my soul still intact.


printable version
chaos

Sony Playstation - A Tool of the Devil? My cat does not naturally crave twenty pound ocean fish The E2 feline conspiracy Books made me a person
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Cap'n Crunch I'd already be a Buddhist if it weren't for all these damn spiders Satanic ritual murder Mew
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Propaganda in the New York Times: The Sinking of the Lusitania Wild Tangent Cup of tea Friedrich Nietzsche
Link and Link Ecce homo King Arthur is the Antichrist soul
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