forgive me.
i have profaned these walls with something not at all resembling apathy. i'm cursed, understand? i have no such capacity. (for keeping things quiet and my thoughts discreet.)
always, my mind points noisily in opposite directions, giving the illusion of aloofness, when i am not arguing aloud with myself.
but that's just a facade.
i hold two truths at once and find it difficult to let either go until neither any longer has relevance.

i wanted to say that i think aloud, but nothing i say i mean to be final.
or derisive.
inflating these things tests the strength of the logic that constructs them,
and if they pop i find catharsis.
but they are not crafted to be answers all alone. more questions.

don't think i want to stop, or am unhappy.
i don't,
and i'm far from it.