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Masturbation euphemisms

created by booyaa

(idea) by booyaa (2.4 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Fri Mar 31 2000 at 16:11:07

  1. Choking the chicken
  2. Jerking the gerkin
  3. Five knuckle shuffle
  4. Beating the bishop
  5. Spanking the monkey
  6. Rosie Palm and her five beautiful daughters
  7. Self love
  8. Hand to gland combat

(idea) by cardinal (3.4 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Fri Mar 31 2000 at 18:49:36


(idea) by blowdart (3.7 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Jul 11 2000 at 10:14:32

For those os us that are fans of Star Wars ...
  • Shooting Womprats in Beggar's Canyon
  • Grooming the Wookie
  • Making the Kessel Run
  • Polishing Vader's Helmet
  • Evacuating Tatooine
  • Unsheathing the Meatsaber
  • Releasing the Special Edition
  • Jumping to Delight Speed
  • Communicating with Red Leader One
  • Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo
  • Tinkering With the R2 Unit
  • Manually Targeting the Rebel Base
  • Performing the Jedi Hand Trick
  • Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears
  • Test Firing the Death Star

(idea) by Jayveanna (2.6 y) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Tue Jul 11 2000 at 10:30:12

I apologize. I have to post this. The worst, most terribly disgusting euphemism for this act I've ever heard of:
Drumroll, please...

Coaxing the snot out of Goofy.

I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen.


(idea) by Life101 (11.8 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Fri Oct 20 2000 at 13:03:05

The Scene: Three young teenagers are huddled around a computer in their high school. On the screen is Altavista's Babelfish. They have just heard of it's infamous translation capabilities.

"Let's try... Spank the Monkey!" One of the three calls out. The other two giggle, just barely young enough to find that amusing. The one at the keyboard types it in. "What language?" He asks, getting bored of the french they had been doing before. The other two look at each other for a moment, and then blurt out , at the same time no less, "German!" The typer concurs, and does his stuff. Moments later it is there,

Flog the Drophammer

And that my friends, was that.




dem bones says

That's enough jerking off for today.



No more writeups here.



printable version
chaos

Bite the wax tadpole Words that sound dirty but really aren't Wankel rotary engine Simpsons digs at Apple
LAME Ain't an MP3 Encoder Understanding the female orgasm Henry Rollins Jill off
Irish girls Euphemisms for menstruating How many men/women masturbate? Spanking the Monkey
Dem Bones parallel parking Rosy Palm and her five daughters coitus interruptus
Animal jerk-off metaphors escape meta alt control shift The Joy of Pair Bonding: The Underwater Metaphor Apple Confidential: The Real Story of Apple, Computer, Inc.
hardening your vehicle beat the bishop Noding for Numbers Masturbation
No more writeups are being accepted for this node. If you feel you have something to add to this node, post it on your Scratch Pad and contact an editor.
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