It can't miss! Think about it. All the successful Dot Com businesses these days have one thing in common: they're losing money faster than you or I could burn it. So, if we want to have the next record-setting IPO, we have to find a way to lose money even faster.
And this, this is a whole new paradigm for losing money. Instead of the done to death "Sell things for less than cost", or "Pay people to look at ads", our money losing strategy (patented, of course) is to spend megabucks on promoting a product nobody wants!
It's a work of genius, I tell you!
"It's not as bad as it sounds. We just want to send a few million e-mails advertising DIY plans and blueprints so that anyone can make their own deodorant."
"But... FISH-SCENTED?"
"Sure. If you don't like cod, you can choose smoked salmon, tuna, mahi mahi, anchovies or gefilte fish. Besides, it's not like we're annoying people. Informative advertising is always welcomed by Internet users!"
"Have you ever actually been ON the Internet?"
"Well, our last clients were advertising their services as green card lawyers, and they were pretty happy with the number of responses they got..."
BLAM!*thud*
Another day, another dead spammer. And people wonder why I like my job.
But there's another person for whom this life takes a heavy toll. The fisherman's wife. While he is away, fighting his next paycheck out of the ocean, she stays at home, alone, to take care of the children and keep the house warm for his return. For the fisherman's wife, those days can seem like decades.
It is for the stalwart wife, the unsung hero of the American family, that we have created Lofthouse's Fish Scented Deodorant1. Available in Salmon, Swordfish, Fluke, and Tuna, Lofthouse's Fish Scented Deoderant is guaranteed to bring back found memories of the sea, as well as prevent embarrassing underarm sweat stains.
Lofthouse's Fish Scented Deodorant is all natural2 and has not been tested on animals3. It is available as a stick, a roll on, or a spray, and can be found in the bath and body products section of your local grocery store. While you're there, take a look at out other fine fish scented products. Lofthouse's Fish Scented Deodorant. Maximum protection. Maximum fish.
1 - From the maker's of Fisherman's Friend 2 - Keep refrigerated. 3 - Lofthouse's Fish Scented Deoderant does contain small amounts of fish oil. However, it is not a food product. If consumed, induce vomiting and contact your physician.
An ad executive is sitting behind a really big, expensive desk in a corner office on the twenty-fifth floor of a skyscraper somewhere in Manhattan. He is talking on the phone to one of his collegues:
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