His: "I have a secret deal with film makers: I pay for me and my girlfriend to see terrible romance films and, in return, they have sappy scenes so that my girlfriend will rest her head on my shoulder."
Hers: "I have a secret deal with film makers: I get to watch great romance films for free and, in return, I have to rest my head on my boyfriend's shoulder during the sappy scenes."
His: "She doesn't realize it, but she goes gaga when I don't shave my face."
Hers: "He doesn't realize it, but he goes gaga when I don't shave my legs."
His: "I act so tough and cool, but she doesn't know that I was really a virgin when I met her."
Hers: "He acts so tough and cool, but he doesn't know that I know that he was really a virgin when he met me."
His: "I'm a great kisser."
Hers: "He's a terrible kisser. I only do it because I subsist on saliva."
His: "She only tells me to wear a condom so that I won't."
Hers: "Once he gets me pregnant, he'll be forced to marry me. By then, it will be too late! I'll destroy his will to live!"
His: "I once killed a man."
Hers: "Females are an alien race bent on colonizing Earth. Our first step is to destroy men's will to live."
His: "We have so much fun together! She's my best friend."
Hers: "A dog is man's best friend. I, conversely, am man's mortal enemy."
His: "Oh God! I lost my planet to the Female species! I was a fool to laugh when she told me that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus!"
Hers: "I have a spaceship shaped like a penis."
| 
