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It is my nature to covet

created by LaggedyAnne

(person) by LaggedyAnne (18.8 hr) (print)   ?   4 C!s I like it! Sun Mar 28 2004 at 5:39:03


"Smitten with an unobtainable person... it is painful and delicious. I know the drill."
"You are smitten with the unobtainable?"
"Am I? Yes, presently and previously. And by the sound of it, you have been the same."
"I'm in a state of perpetual infatuation with someone or something... it is my nature to covet."

They were whispering over empty cups of coffee, having already enjoyed an hour or more of pure conversation. Drinking warm confection was not enough; they were drinking each other's words at a pace that seemed easy, but was secretly desperate. She leaned in conspiratorially.

"The truth is, I'm drawn to you."

She bent her head, eyes cast upward in a classic look of innocense and humility. Golden rings encircled each dark pupil; the blue of each iris seemed the color of harmony. All the same, this would never be enough. He shook his head and teetered his oversized mug, peering down at the filmy remnants of sugar. He set the cup down with decision, setting his jaw as he returned her gaze. Those eyes. How was he going to say this?

"Anne... I...."
"Please, you don't have to say anything. I know it was stupid of me to say."
"It's not that, it's just...."
"You're speaking in ellipses. I know what that means."

She stood up without warning, chair raking more dramatically across the tiles than she'd wanted. He sprang to his feet after her, hand clasping over her wrist tightly. His grip felt like a hot brand, green eyes scalding as he willed her to look into them. This was the moment when she'd attain her prize, the goal of their entire relationship, the climax. She held her breath and wheeled around.

"I love you, Anne. I love you. Please, don't go."

And with all the bravado of a fading thunderstorm, her longing dissipated. She had what she wanted, and suddenly didn't crave it quite so badly. She bit her lip and nodded, stepping into him, lips parting to kiss his delicately. As her tongue lashed over the warmth of his mouth, she heard him moan inwardly. She drew back and searched his eyes, her own tearing up slightly.

"That's the problem."

And like that, she was on to the next.

A duel, with a worthy opponent.


(idea) by etouffee (8.5 hr) (print)   ?   1 C! I like it! Sun Mar 28 2004 at 16:48:26

We are talking and giving each other tagyou'reIT glances. As usual there is an enormous canyon between what I am saying and what I am thinking. I am talking about how people can find themselves attracted to someone they cannot be with, but I am thinking hers is a winnable heart. There is always a dichotomy to my communications.

She is discussing her own attraction to the Unreachable and I am going along. Giving her some elaborate fictional answer- mostly convoluted but sprinkled with just enough truthful detail to give it some weight.

"You are smitten with the unobtainable?"
Am I? Presently and previously. And by the sound of it, you have been the same

It is a ploy of course. A large piece of bait that only the little fish jump at. You don't catch small fish by saying you want a snack. You are much better to say that you are looking for Moby Dick. Everyone wants to imagine they are the greatest of all catches. Most of us like the idea of being sought after even when we are already taken. Is there a flattery greater than being sought after when we are already seen as "taken" as off the market?

"You're speaking in ellipses. I know what that means."

She seems flustered now. Have I said too much? She spins to her feet and is considering a hasty exit. A grand gesture is required. I jump to my feet and grab her hand. A firm grip will either ignite the flame or extinguish it. The moment of truth. My heart is racing, but it is a visceral reaction more competitive than amorous. Now for the big guns:

I love you Anne, please don't go

Her mouth on mine gives me a definite answer. If she feels my heart racing I am sure she imagines it is with passion, as opposed to the exhilaration of victory.

Moments later, pausing for breath. She gives me a contradictory afterthought.

"That's the problem."

I squint my eyes and pull her close without a word in return.

Not out loud of course, I say -

No. That's your problem.


printable version
chaos

The frequency of blue My way of showing love was consumption She was cilantro, jalapeņo, habanero. She was the hot plate you must not touch. I tattooed your name on my eyelids
I dreamed of her pulse long before I took it from her You're so come here go away An unfinished kiss leaves a taste that is hard to get rid of Cuteness craving
Nostalgic for a time that I never experienced and for a person I never was A hollow longing in her that will last infatuation as a drug I felt as calm as the day outside. My footsteps were certain below the neutral sky. I wished there were someone watching.
Smitten The one that got away A woman, a lighthouse, and several dandelions Want (the state of not having her)
etouffee friend Duel Around nine PM my heart was breaking so I went to bed early to listen to it happen.
exoatmospheric Queen's Gambit Accepted March 24, 2004 It's only love: at the end of the day, there are still thunderstorms and sunsets
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