If I died right now

I always had such high hopes for myself. I wanted to be known for "changing everything", but the more I learned the more I realized that there is no great revolution under way. Only small ones. Like people treating each other with respect, like having the courage to face the fact the world is filled with suffering people and that the cure for the suffering will mean sacrifice. I guess I have been too proud. I was jus staring to see that. But even as I try to do things to help others more I still secretly hope for fame and glory. I want to be loved by many people I want to be remarkable. Since I'm dead now I regret that I haven't yet made a name for myself. That I've left no good plays for people to perform and no work that even began to "change everything". I feel massively insignificant. I ought to have worked harder and wasted less time in introspection and divestment. I was a thinking person and I had so much to give to the world and in 21 years I have not even done one thing that was amazing. My life stopped at this point would be a failure.