I have a good idea, smear crap on your face

created by moJoe

(idea) by moJoe (3.2 mon) (print) ? 3 C!s I like it! Sat Feb 26 2000 at 6:15:30

Make-up, who came up with this shit? I can see the cave men now, smearing mud on each other. To me it's the same thing.

Nothing to me, is more sexy and exciting than to lean forward to kiss a woman and _____________________ .

...inhale 3 pints of perfume
...get slapped because I am going to fuck up her lipstick...you know, the shit she is wearing to make herself look good for boys, or sometimes even to look good specifically for me
...come out of it wearing more lipstick than her
...come out of it lacking the ability to feel my face due to all of the base, primer, powder, dust, cream and SHIT smeared on my face
...end up looking like Carmen Miranda

If you would really like to know what makes you look like shit, its wearing make up, it ruins your complexion and your skin. Wash your face, give it a healthy glow. Nothing to me is sexier than smelling some girlish soap. To me that is more personal than any perfume. I know that when I smell it, I am close to the person. Women who can drop a Llama at 40 paces just don't do it for me.

I sometimes wonder if there is a woman somewhere out there who has a 2-hour commute to work and spends 2-hours in the bathroom a day. Combine that with 8 hours of work and a 2-hour commute home and that is 14 hours. Scary scary scary. I mean 2 hours, the mind boggles at what the fuck a person can do in the bathroom for two hours. She better be hiding a vibrator in there somewhere because otherwise It doesn't seem possible that it could take that long to accomplish smearing tinted mud on your face and spraying forty-six gallons of hair spray in your hair. I wake up, shower, get dressed, grab a mocha and get to work in half an hour.

I have had girlfriends who I have asked them to get dressed so we can go to Burger King for a bite to eat and they take an hour doing their hair...to go to Burger King for Christ sake!

At any rate, I like women who look good without the oils and sprays and roll-ons, powders and other various horrors which can only be applied with something resembling a pallet knife. If you have to perform make-up miracles verging on self performed reconstructive surgery...why bother?

printable version
chaos

Women who can drop a Llama at 40 paces	Blah blah blah Supermodels blah blah blah	WAIAMQWIITIOJDTRT?	By the way, she has a penis; just so you know.
Why women wear makeup and perfume	How to hurt yourself on one of those giant inflatable bouncy things	Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck	But there are NUNS watching us!
Herd mentality and you, a node on the wonders of conformity	This product was tested on cute, furry animals with big, sad eyes	Carmen Miranda	Insulting softlinks
Her achilles heel	If you look hard enough, you can see Satan and his works everywhere	Mongolian Horse Archer Mushroomaloumi	The Newbie's Guide to Persuasive Noding
pin money	A funny thing happened on my way to the courthouse	Do you want to get slapped?	Waxing
Dirty Sanchez	Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too	Good reasons not to wear make-up	I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up

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