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I do not fit in; I am not alone
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Wed May 03 2000 at 15:51:08
This is a
public service plea
.
Ladies and gentlemen,
look at our lives
. There's a common road, a road that you're expected to walk, the job-money-bills-stuff-and-worry road. That
road before you
is
paved
with the
greed
and
fear
of hundreds of
generations
of people. We all know that
all other paths
are
difficult
and
dangerous
, and we all know
where this path leads
. We all know that you either
walk the consumer walk
or
languish in horrible poverty
, pretty much. The only real way to get around that is to
walk the walk
so well that you
get rich
and can then
do what you please
. But the 1% that are rich have not
made it easy
for you to get there, and they have all but
guaranteed
that you will
flat-out
DIE if you don't at least
try
.
I mean,
think about it
. When in
history
, besides in
modern times
, has a
lack of money
had the power to
kill you
? Money used to be something
useful
, something
extra
; if you had
money
, you could have
nicer clothes
than you would have
made
on your own. If you had money, you could have
glass windows
in your home; maybe even
someone
to help you
work
. But,
money or not
, you always had
food
, because you went out and killed it. You always had
water
, because you went out and
drank it
. You might not have lived an
easy life
without
money
, but you could live well enough.
Not now. Now, here,
money
is a fucking
necessity
. You aren't even
permitted
to just
live in the woods
and
kill your own food
; you couldn't live without money now even if you
tried
. And
self-sustaining communes
and things like that are usually
blown up by the FBI
.
I am not
suggesting
that you
burn your money
. I am only asking you to
remember that it does burn
.
Is our
sociey
really
designed around us
? Do you feel like you've found your place in it, the place
you're happy with
? I'm
ecstatic
if you have, but I have not. I am not a
material person
, yet I am
bombarded by advertisements
everywhere I go.
Billboards
.
Radio
.
TV
. Even the
Internet
, as much as that
upsets me
. I am not a
routine
person, yet I am
forced into routine
by the
absolute survival necessity
of
having a job
. I
value
learning, and
wondering
, and
helping people
. But my
learning
and
thinking
and
trying to help others
is not good enough for this society; in fact, often it is only by virtue of
being an asshole
that I can get the
money
I need to survive.
Nice people often die poor
. Self-serving
hypocritical
jerks
often
get rich
.
My situation is not a
hopeless one
. Many folks, with
serendipity
on their sides, have
succeeded
without
compromising the really important stuff
. So I'm sure there's a way, but still I hate--and I mean
red hot flaming fuck-you raged-out passionate HATE
--the fact that our
society
is
deliberately
set-up to steer people towards
petty
,
diminishing
,
soulless
living as a means of survival.
That is my
point of view
, the cause of my
neuroses
and my
nightmares
. That is the
war
that I'm
fighting
, all the fucking time. Not that I don't get
tired of it
. But here's the
important part
. I've been finding out that I'm not the
only one
who wants to make
good
equal
beautiful
equal
true
in this
society
. I suppose that may seem like a
minor revelation
at best, but you gotta understand, until
yesterday
, every time I even brought this up I was
hardcore written off
.
Fast
. I was shut out of people's
consideration
by every excuse from
insanity
to
PMS
to
rudeness
. People who are
struggling to succeed
by the standards they were
given
do NOT like other people
proposing
that those standards are
fucking evil
in many ways. But yesterday, I got told for the first time in the
eleven years
I've been fighting this that
someone else
feels the way I do. And perhaps
even more
people than that.
So
fuck it
; I'm using this
opportunity
to
appeal to a generation
--this one. The
up and coming
; those of us who are
just beginning
to run our
own lives
. DON'T
SELL OUT
LIKE THE HIPPIES DID. The hippies sold out, becoming
their parents
with
lightning speed
, because they were
afraid of dying poor
; afraid of being
sixty
and still
living on scraps
. They saw that
society would try
to
crush them
for their
refusal to worship the dollar
, and they
buckled
. But as long as we
allow
this fear to
dissolve the power
of a
new generation
of leaders, we are perpetuating the
madness
. YOU and I will be the next
congressmen
. We have to be, because the ones sitting up there now are going to
die
. You and I will be the next
President
. The next
CEO
. All the
authority figures
that pissed us off all through our youth are GOING TO DIE. Please, PLEASE, don't let their atrocities
survive in you
.
Don't
sell out
. Don't let your
possessions own you
. Be a fucking
bastard
, a passionate
raging lunatic
, when it comes to your
ideals
. Never let them
tell you
that you have to
conform
; never let them
hand you
their
empire
and
demand that you change nothing
. Our children are coming, or
already here
, and they are the most
valuable thing
this fucked-up planet has going for it. The
ideals
you perpetuate will be the
ideals
that your
children
live by. Don't
do to them
what was
done to us
.
Money is paper
. Your
soul
is
all you have
, and after that, the
rest is silence
.
Self-improvement
is
masturbation
. Try
having sex
instead.
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