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Holy shit, you mean I'm not invisible?

created by General Wesc

(idea) by General Wesc (6.9 d) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Mon Jun 12 2000 at 4:45:54

Yesterday I was following a suspect when suddenly he turned around to face me and asked "Why are you following me?". I was, of course, taken completely by surprise. "Holy shit, you mean I'm not invisible?"

I whip out my communicator and say "Spock, what the hell happened to my personal cloaking devise? Spock? Spock? Damn."

I turn back to the suspect but he's snuck off to get a police officer who, after much debate, is coming over to me to take me to the crazy-person ward.

"Beam me up, Mr. Scott!", I shout. "Dammit, get me out of here!" Luckily, just as the police officer gets to me the communicator starts working and I'm beamed up.

A couple seconds longer and I'd have a hell of a time trying to convince them that I'm sane. Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor not a very good actor!


(idea) by DJuxtaposition (11.2 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 2 C!s Fri Mar 16 2001 at 11:01:04

I took off my hat. No one noticed.

I took off my coat. Not a single person gave a damn.

I took off my sweater and no one even looked at me.

I tore my boots off and threw them in the air, with no soul to see me.

I ripped my shirt off in the manner of the Incredible Hulk and nobody bothered to glare at me for being ridiculous.

The moment that I decided to take off my pants... I didn't even get an awkward glance.

I dropped my boxers.

Of course I get arrested for indecent exposure.

Dammit all to hell.


(idea) by passport (12.2 hr) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 3 C!s Tue Nov 26 2002 at 6:30:54

We could've told the guy you can't get a decent invisibility spell that's arm compatible for less than 2,000 bucks.

"Magical Realms" Website

In the Fall of 2002, a would-be bank robber in Tehran, Iran decided that he needed a little supernatural help to pull off his next big heist. So he went to a "sorceror" looking for an invisibility spell, something to give him that extra edge. He paid the wizard 5 million Rials for several pieces of parchment that were supposed to be the equivalent of a "Ring of Invisibility".

Our would-be robber proceeded to tie the paper to his arms, and entered a Tehran bank. He was overjoyed at his own cleverness, and he began snatching money out of people's hands left and right. Unfortunately, it didn't come off quite as well as he expected, because his invisibility spells didn't do a thing, and everyone could see him. The bank customers quickly overpowered the unarmed "invisible" thief, and he was soon arrested.

When brought before the judge, he told his story about paying the 5 million Rial (about $625 USD), for the spell, and how he believed he was conned into his actions. He said it was all a mistake, and that a big trick was played on him. No one seems to know exactly what happened to the man after that, but this did happen in Iran, so use your imagination.

It appears the only winner in this story was the wizard, whom police were strangely unable to locate. It was like he had just vanished into thin air.


printable version
chaos

And that's why we don't have sex in the nose What's dumber than a cigarette in your ear? YOU CAN'T FIGHT EVIL WITH A MACARONI DUCK! Humorous Writings of E2
=) Don't stick wasabi up your nose All the terrible disadvantages an invisible man would have in the world He's dead, Jim. You grab his wallet, I'll grab his tricorder.
The OED's only (stupid) marketing gimmick Holy Shit! You must die to preserve life on Earth as we know it! Advantages an invisible man would have in the world Sunday afternoon sex
'Fuck off' used as a replacement for 'good', or 'very' Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a bricklayer! Watching yourself on video plug and play
Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them. Tricks girls use to look like they swallow demons fly out your nose The Problem of the Invisible Man
I am invisible ring of invisibility Cloaking yourself Easter Egg Poems
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