| Hitchhiker Joe -- The Rugburns
Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe:
He'll slit your throat and cut off your big toe.
I'll tell you
He'll make you smile from ear to ear
and lock you in a trunk for 99 years.
I had a cousin who came from Vermont;
Next thing I know that cousin was gone.
Truck driver saw him picking up Hitchhiker Joe,
Now his spleen's on the sidewalk helping the flowers grow.
Hitchhiker Joe ain't no vegetarian.
If you see him on the highway, steer clear of him.
He's got a knife in his sock, and a razor up his sleeve,
And a chainsaw in his pack, and he's gonna make you bleed.
My girlfriend Lois called from Tallahassee;
She picked up that dude at the Spam factory.
That was the last time that I saw her smile;
My best advice is don't eat Spam for a while. | 
