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Hi, my name is Mario Rossi

created by twilight009

(idea) by twilight009 (8.6 mon) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 1 C! Sat May 10 2003 at 22:39:47

The following is an anonymous, satirical e-mail that originally circulated during the Italian national elections of 2001. From comments, I switched the order of this writeup: The English translation is reprinted here, with the Italian original immediately afterwards. Mi dispiace.

Hi, my name is Mario Rossi and I live in Milan in a building provided by the Prime Minister.

I work in a company whose main shareholder is the Prime Minister. My car insurance is provided by the Prime Minister. I stop off every day to buy a newspaper owned by the Prime Minister. In the afternoon I go shopping in a supermarket owned by the Prime Minister.

In the evening I watch the Prime Minister's TV, where the films, often produced by the Prime Minister, are continuously interrupted by adverts made by the advertising company of the Prime Minister. Then I get bored and go surfing on the Internet on the Prime Minister's service provider. Often I look at the football results, because I'm a fan of the Prime Minister's football team.

Once a week, more or less, I go to the cinema, where I can see newer films by the Prime Minister and other spots produced by the ad company of the Prime Minister.

On Sunday I stay at home and read a book from the Prime Minister's publishing house.

Naturally, and rightly so, as in all democratic countries the Prime Minister makes the laws that get approved by Parliamentary majorities in support of the Prime Minister.

Obviously, he's governing exclusively in my interests, not his own ...


Salve, mi chiamo Mario Rossi e vivo a Milano, in un palazzo costruito dall'attuale Presidente del Consiglio.

Lavoro in un'azienda dove l'azionista principale č il Presidente del Consiglio. Anche l'assicurazione dell'auto con cui mi reco al lavoro, č del Presidente del Consiglio. Mi fermo tutte le mattine a comprare il giornale, di cui č Proprietario il Presidente del Consiglio. Al pomeriggio, esco dal lavoro e vado a far spesa in un supermercato del Presidente del Consiglio, dove compro prodotti realizzati da aziende del Presidente del Consiglio.

Alla sera, quasi sempre guardo le TV del Presidente del Consiglio, dove i film (spesso prodotti dal Presidente del Consiglio) sono continuamente interrotti da spot realizzati dall'agenzia pubblicitaria del Presidente del Consiglio. Allora mi stufo e vado a navigare un po' in internet con il provider del Presidente del Consiglio. Soprattutto, guardo i risultati delle partite, perchč faccio il tifo per la squadra del Presidente del Consiglio.

Una volta a settimana piu' o meno vado al cinema, nella catena del Presidente del Consiglio, anche li' vedo un film prodotto dal Presidente del Consiglio, e gli spot iniziali sono realizzati dall'agenzia del Presidente del Consiglio.

La domenica rimango a casa, leggendo un libro, la cui casa editrice č di proprietŕ del Presidente del Consiglio.

Naturalmente, giustamente, come in tutti i paesi democratici anche in Italia č il Presidente del Consiglio che fa le leggi, che vengono approvate da un parlamento dove la maggioranza č saldamente in mano al Presidente del Consiglio. Che ovviamente governa nel MIO esclusivo interesse !


Sources:
Original: http://www.nastrinoblu.it/ridere/ridere-1.htm
Translation: Tobias Jones, The Dark Heart of Italy: Travels Through Time and Space Across Italy
http://www.guardian.co.uk/guardianweekly/story/0,12674,918505,00.html


printable version
chaos

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