| Out drinking and dancing at the student union one night many moons ago I went to the bar to buy a round in. As I stood waiting to get served I looked over to my left and a very pretty young girl in a stunning low-cut little dress was stood there, smiling right at me.
I was young and didn't know what to do or more especially what to say. The fact that I was a little drunk as well didn't help, I always seemed to say the wrong thing in that state. So, I turned around and ordered my drinks then left the bar.
As the night went on I spied her across the room, she kept glancing over from her group of friends and looking straight at me. I had never been so overtly flirted with by such a pretty girl and I was nervous and unsure of what to do. Should I walk straight up, take her in my arms and kiss her? I knew trying to talk to her was out of the question, I couldn't think of one word to say.
I looked at my watch and realised the night was nearly over. Still she stood there, I had watched her brush off the other guys who came over to her in a matter of seconds. I made a quick decision and went to the bar to borrow a pen and some paper. I wrote
"Here's my number, call me" and underneath my number and name. Nothing else, just that. Simple is best I thought. I walked over to her, her back was turned, and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and smiled and I nervously, silently handed her the note and walked away.
The very next afternoon the phone rang, I honestly didn't think it would be her. I picked up and heard
"This is Jim from the bar at the SU, whats your fucking problem mate?"
"Sorry, what?"
"Well, are you the bastard that left that note last night? I am calling the right number for ZamZ aren't I?"
"You've got the right number, but I don't know what you are talking about"
"You know fine well, the note that said 'Your service is shite and your bar the most un-hygenic hole I've ever drunk in, Here's my number, call me'"
| 
