Seeing as it's last minute and all, we hereby declare a nodermeet of inversely epic proportions to happen somewhere along the banks of the lovely Unaware River on Wednesday, July 7th, 2004 beginning at roughly midafternoon or thereabouts. Erm.
We shall be grilling small young children, various four legged pets, and perhaps a tomato or two, complimenting Johnny Goodyear's grillwork with a lavish amount of potato salad, various and sundry greens just plucked from the Goodyear truck patch by the gardener, all washed down with liquides brown and fermented.
The invitation is extended to two people: being the author, and Dr. Goodyear. However, as with all exclusive parties, there will be the inevitable invite-seeker who due to his importunity hopes to sneak in the doors before they are closed by the rather large butler in residence. Worry not. If you do seek such an invitation, please message the host and plead for directions. There will be some to-and-fro-ing -- what to wear for such a thrown-together bash, what the appropriate gift ought to be, what precise sort of automobile one ought to drive to such an affair, etc etc., jewelry (costume? ostentatious ice - in the afternoon? Oh my dear, how they will talk!), shades of lipstick, dress length, heel length, etc. but such worries ought not to deter the jaunty young man or breezy young woman audaciously seeking an invitation from perfect strangers.
Do consider being polite and well groomed. Johnny and various family members do have standards, after all.
I have been told that the hounds are not too frightfully terrifying if they can see your hands out in the open at all times.
There is a nominal fee for attendance, but this shall be distributed to charity, which I have been let to believe involves taking unwashed street urchins from various city neighborhoods and depositing them in summer camps, for good or ill. The nodeshell alludes to the price of admission, which I'm told is close to fair market price as these things go.
Johnny has permitted me to draw up these particulars and throw it out to the maddening crowd with not even a by your leave from the host. Very well then. Consider yourselves invited. I shall be in transit for a goodish amount of time tomorrow, and shall be unable to ascertain the degree to which this node has been successful in enticing you to consider participating. But Dr. Goodyear will happily read all /msgs to him, and promises not to guffaw too greatly should counteroffers be extended.
I shall therefore bid you all adieu until such time as would be appropriate to journal said event in the past tense. I hope to report that the flowers will all have been fresh cut, the furniture freshly dusted and waxed, the children's faces scrubbed freshly clean, and the maids' legs all shapely. Anything less would be tres declasse, with various accents and graves all placed appropriately, of course. Ta! | 
