Everything2
Near Matches
Ignore Exact
Full Text
Everything2

George W. Bush Metanode

created by thopkins

(idea) by fondue (6.4 hr) (print)   ?   (I like it!) 3 C!s Sun Jan 21 2001 at 0:41:29

George W. Bush met a node, one day, during the long, gruelling 2000 Election campaign. Never one to miss a photo opportunity, Dubya immediately strode up to the node, and gripped it firmly by the softlink-spotted hand. A quick show of support for the minorities, that's what his advisors kept saying... at least he seemed to recall; he was usually too busy daydreaming about frat parties and bombing the Middle East to pay much attention.

"Hello Sir, my name is George W. Bush," said George. The node wheezed and stared at the politician with red-rimmed eyes. Dubya glared at the node, grinning widely, the flashbulbs illuminating his angular dentalwork and making the well-worn membranes in his node glow translucently.

"Hello Mr. Bush," croaked the node, "I was hoping to talk to you today."

"What would you like me to do for you, personally?" said Dub.

"Well, I'm just a humble node ..."

"Let it be known that I value the contribution of every node in this country, no matter how humble," cut in Bush loudly, nodding vapidly to the assembled media.

"...some of my writeups have negative XP." continued the node. Bush suddenly was forced to change gear. Discreetly but rapidly he withdrew his hand.

"Well, I'm sure your writeups will be given the chance to live safely and prosperously under my administration," he began-

"I'm afraid, Mr. Bush, that sooner or later they'll end up on node row." There was a murmur in the crowd.

"Well," laughed Bush, "I hardly think that some WU's from a good family could go far astray. You have nothing to fear from my police sta... err, law enforcement agencies, that's for sure. After all, you can't help being GTKY."

"It's not that," protested the node. "It's rather their ... content that I'm afraid you'll take exception too." The node opened one side of its jacket, revealing George W. Bush's Record as Governor of Texas, Pollution Statistics for Dallas in the 1990's, Famous Cocaine Abusers, and There's such thing as too much freedom.

"Now listen," Bush hissed in the node's ear, "I can vote you up, make sure you get cheap nodevertising and regular linkage, hell, I can even have a word with Judge Bones to get your writeups pardoned, but I can't help you if you persist in speaking against our friends in the private sector."

"I'm not afraid of you Mr. Bush," replied the little node, "for you can take office by our choice or your handywork, but if you try to silence us or oppress us, we will rise up against you. The nodegel will swell like a tide, and spread across America's borders so that the world will hear of your misdeeds. You serve us, Mr. Bush, always remember that. As you line your pockets with the dirty money of those who pull your strings, remember that you had a chance to prove your critics wrong. I hope, for all our sakes, that you take that chance."

But Bush was gone before the node could finish his dire warning. "Ah well," he thought, "could be worse. They could've chosen DMan."


printable version
chaos

Reasons why George W. Bush became president George W. Bush is a moron, and there is no 'grey matter' there George W. Bush George W. Bush's 2001 Inaugural Address
I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt Remarks by President George W. Bush at Islamic Center of Washington, D.C. GTKY George W. Bush and the Texas death penalty
2000 US Presidential Election Get the fuck out of my office Think there's too much violence in society today? Maybe, but consider this: Bushisms
My cat's breath smells like cat food Boycott Brand America Liquid Cocaine Bush's space proposal
Fuck me like you fucked that horse skull fuck Fuck off The Metanode Destruction Team
The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire Famous drug addicts vice Windows XP
Y'know, if you log in, you can write something here, or contact authors directly on the site. Create a New User if you don't already have an account.
  Epicenter
Login
Password

password reminder
register

Everything2 Help

Cool Staff Picks
Just another sprinkling of indeterminacy
Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
Tap
Fuck the models
logicism
glassblowing
The Language of Flowers
Psychological Theories of Creativity
Being with an older woman
The facial nerve
ooblick
I'd dance forever if they'd let me, you know
accordion
Some of your peers who seem happy, popular, and self-confident are miserable
New Writeups
antigravpussy
One fly amongst many(person)
sam512
Moon Base Shackleton, 1978(fiction)
Pavlovna
toy boy(person)
XWiz
tear jerker(review)
Heitah
Anarchy is Order(idea)
jessicaj
July 26, 2008(dream)
Berek
ABBA(person)
devolution
k-hole(place)
Nadine_2
The Sound Of Madness(review)
SwimmingMonkey
Conversations with Fo Fo, the Loneliest dog in Purgatory(fiction)
locke baron
lynx(thing)
Simulacron3
Reality, Dimensions and the Natural Ontology(essay)
SubSane
Making Love to a 9-Foot Woman(person)
Ouzo
Thoughts(idea)
antigravpussy
I fall silent, listening. The breadcrumbs are talking about us(person)
This page courtesy of The Everything Development Company